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Lifestyle

5 ‘P’owerful Ways to Connect With Your Spouse

Please tell me I am not the only one who feels like sometimes life gets too busy…to the point that there are evenings when my husband and I are hardly able to chat in the evenings.  I have spoken with my chicks and my mom about this and it seems normal for life to cut into relationships — but honestly, no one likes to feel like they are not ‘connected’ to their spouse or significant other (SO).  Having been married for 13 years with two young children, it’s easy to let one busy evening become two nights in a row and then, before you know it, a week!

Here are some important reminders, the five ‘P’s, to keep your relationship on track and healthy:

Prioritize

Identify that you miss your spouse…this is an easy way to kick yourself back into gear. The best place to start is to communicate that longing. It helps get the wheels turning for you and for your SO. I tell my husband I miss him all the time, even when he is right in front of me. It lets him know that I am thinking about him and that time with him is a priority for me.

Secrets for winning at Relationships
Anil and Rina : Established in 2005
Plan

Remember, actions express priorities. So once you acknowledge that you miss each other, it is time to make a plan. We were so good about date nights in the beginning, but lately (in the last 3 years) not so much. This year, we want to find a way to get back to that place where we set aside time for each other. Making time to do things together (yes, without the kids and hustle of daily life) expresses priorities.

Play

Remember those little things you did when you had fewer responsibilities? In our case, it was watch a lot of movies, NBA basketball games, and walking around new parts of town. Those activities are fun, flirty, and lighthearted. Don’t just go out to a fancy dinner — go to sports bar and catch the game again, like old times.  Play time together is just as important for adults as it is for kids. Remind each other of the easy, playful times amidst the weight of growing responsibilities with families.

Sonia and Badal Celebrating 10 Years!

Sonia and Badal Celebrating 10 Years!

Physical Contact

Do you know it only take 60 SECONDS of physical skin to skin contact to get the endorphins going?  Take that playfulness further by sneaking in moments to flirt at home. These moments can be an unexpected hug or kiss in the kitchen, a slight touch of the hand as you walk by. Making sure to remember that even the slightest physical contact with your spouse can make the body have a positive biological response.

Pillow Talk

This one is great. It ties in with #2, planning.  Each night, when the lights are out, it is nice to have a little recap. I tell my husband a quick story about the kids or myself. He will tell me something funny that happened at the office. We try to keep the exchange lighthearted (and phone free), to help us laugh together and end the day with a smile.  Having this brief re-connectivity can help be a reset and recharge button for the relationship. I actually think about pillow talk throughout out the day and look forward to that moment of peace when it is just the two of us.

** Bonus ‘P’: Poetry**

When I first met my husband he would write me lovely snippets in emails, on cards, and on napkins (anything he could get his hands on!) from time to time, sneaking in a romantic thought here an there really drew me to him.  Since that time, I have see many other relationships use this fun way to communicate with each other.  Check out some of my favorite love poems written by my uncle in his book, The Start Of Something Beautiful.  Maybe scoop up a copy for your honey for old times sake, or check out some of our other ideas for gifts.  Here is a sample from the book:

God Exists Poem

Hopefully, you can use some of these tips. When I am on the same page as my spouse, I move through my day with confidence and positivity. When we are ‘off’, it affects me, the kids, my work, etc.  Are you like that?  Drop me a comment below on what you do to connect with your spouse.

Cheers,

Rina

 

Lifestyle

5 Things I Have Learned Since Starting A Blog

Wow, it has been a roller coaster since launching Chicks And Salsa and, besides the time I have spent with my family, this has been one of the most gratifying year and a half of my life. Doing something that is centered on the betterment and understanding of myself was a hard transition to make but has felt amazing.  The blog has also had some unexpected benefits such as making my relationships with my parents, siblings, spouse, and children better since I had found an outlet for myself. It has served as an avenue to work through my thoughts and ideas in in a more organized fashion that my brain previously couldn’t. I am also truly grateful to Sonia, Avani, Komal, and Neema who have found a home on the blog for their voices and ideas. Compiling our passions, motivations, and insecurities has allowed each of us to grow beyond what we could have imagined. In reflecting on this past year, I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge the top five things I have learned since “becoming a blogger.”

Bloggers Are Awesome People

I was surprisingly met with good energy, positive vibes and smiling faces when I timidly introduced Chicks And Salsa to the blog-sphere.  I was worried about encountering intimidation and skepticism; but other bloggers were generous with their ideas and enthusiasm. After all, we are unique and have a different messages to share with the universe.  We have worked with many bloggers in developing our brand and truly credit them for the support that they have provided.  These women rock! They are hard working, creative, and smart and open to questions. DM your favorite bloggers and see what they say!  Pro tip: to really shortcut the process, join Style Collective. They have all the secrets, resources, and community support to justify what they offer for $10/month.  I wish I had found them much sooner than I did. I use their calendars and templates for emails and contracts regularly. I have also met new networks that have streamlined my outreach.

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Deciding to Start is The Hardest Part

My sister and I talked ourselves out of starting Chicks And Salsa for months. We kept thinking we were too old, too boring, too ‘whatever’ to have a blog.  And although that still may be true, doing it for ourselves has been the greatest gift. The fact that so many of our readers check in is the bow on top.  Sharing a piece of oneself with the universe can come with a host of insecurities, doubt, changes, attempts, failures, laughter, and tears.  It’s the constant pursuit of developing and defining your brand that really reflects who you are as a person. It forces you to reflect on your values and desires, an exercise that fuels motivation to try harder and learn more.  Then there is the challenge of incorporating all this sharing into your day-to-day life without it totally taking over (which it totally has the potential to do, see number 3.)  

Blogging is ALL Encompassing

With blogging, I find myself managing many media platforms. In order to succeed, you do need to be everywhere all the time.  Having my cameras always charged and planning out my content helps — that way I am not aimlessly taking pictures all the time.  I make my time count by being goal-oriented and then I either write the piece, get the picture, or make a list and move on. A bias towards action is important and acting with intention will help limit the blogging… keeping it from taking over your life!

Blogging is actually SO MUCH FUN!

Yes, it’s true. Deciding to do this was the exact kick I needed to get out of the funk I was in. For the first time in five years, I was home alone because my kids went to school full time and I had been working part time from home. The blog has taken my ‘me time’ to another level.  I have developed as a writer, photographer, digital content creator, and friend.  Not to mention, I have discovered a whole world of new social media supporters and friendships – some I have met, some I have not (yet!). It has been a rewarding journey that I am excited to continue experiencing. You, our readers, are a huge part of the motivation that drives me forward.  Thank you!

All Black Look
All Black Look
Loving The Learning
Loving The Learning
It Is Easier To Work Backwards

In the beginning, I decided to start a blog but I didn’t have a specific objective or purpose in mind.  Helpful questions to start with are ‘why do you want to blog?’,‘what is the end goal?’, and ‘are you seeking free stuff, money, to network, or travel?’.  I know it seems obvious, but if you want free travel, talk about travel; if you want free products, talk about products, etc.  Genuinely I think I started because I wanted to learn about blogging and I wanted to be informed.  I know now that Chicks And Salsa is truly a lifestyle blog that we have built to speak to all the layers of women, in particular mothers. Women tend to be the demographic who have limited time for themselves and cherish the time they get with their friends. Therefore, we found our mission after we decided to pursue the genesis of Chicks and Salsa. This important nuance helped us grow from the ground up into a purposeful blog.

Phew, what a round up! I hope you found this helpful. In the new digital age, the creative content that one can make and the audience that they can have is truly limitless. Use that indefinite space to find a corner that is yours. I hope that with Chicks And Salsa, you have not only found that you are part of our tribe but also that you are the origin of your own movement.

Cheers
Cheers

Cheers!
Rina

Lifestyle, Motherhood, Review

Life-Gramming with Snap Spectacles : To Buy or Not to Buy?

Come on ladies, we have all been there: whipping out our phones every second our children look cute at a party, school or on the playground. As fun as it is to capture these moments, tying up our hands and pointing a phone in their face can be a bittersweet experience. I have been waiting for an organic method to capturing memories in a real-time way for years and that moment is finally here, or so I thought!  

The Product: Snap Spectacles

Snap Inc. (formerly SnapChat) has come out with Spectacles. While other people have many reasons for wanting these (e.g. documenting intense adventures hiking on mountains or whitewater rafting), my purpose is singular: to find a more natural way to capture moments with my kids — not for social media, but for myself.  

The Spectacles have decent video and audio quality and a fairly minimal profile that makes it easy to use around the kids without ruining ‘the moment’. Although they only have sunglasses version out now, I suspect the next round of specs will have more nighttime and indoor friendly options.     

The glasses are really easy to use, it nice to not have to dig through your purse every time you want to capture something.  They stay paired with your phone at all time so you don’t need to wonder if you will get the shot when you hit the button on the frame (believe me I kept checking to see if it saved and it did every single time.) The shades run 90 minutes on a full charge (the minutes really stretch since it records 10-60 seconds at a time), which could be nice for adventures with the kids (like going to the the zoo, amusement parks, or even a walk at the park) except that ten seconds with kids on camera tends to feel like one, the ten second window seems to fly by.  Also, since the Snapchat app can take photos, I was disappointed that I could not take a picture with the specs, it only records videos. 

Check out more reviews and videos here:

I'm a Cool Mom - Right?!?!
I’m a Cool Mom – Right?!?!
Verdict

BUT, in the end, I ended up returning my Spectacles because I found it annoying to not be able to have a continuous shot, even with a 60 second setting, the video gets broken up into six ten second clips when saved to your story.  Ten seconds and no photo option is just not going to work for me!  This device is so close to something I could and would use.  Maybe when they expand the recording options and create a clear lens frame I may be interested in trying this out again but for now, I will probably spend more time fiddling around with the spectacles rather than with the kids which would defeat my original intent for buying the glasses all together!  

I hope I was able to ease your curiosity of this device I know that I needed to try it to know for myself.  Anything else you have your eye on? Let me know, I will review it and keep you posted.

XOXO,

Rina

Chicks Picks: 


Lifestyle, women

5 Realistic Resolutions You Can Keep in 2018!

Transitioning between jobs, friends, or even years is usually accompanied with a sudden desire to do things differently — and, if possible, better than the time before. A new year is upon us as is another opportunity for us to, yet again, try to better ourselves and our choices.  What have you considered improving in the next year? Are your goals personal or professional?  As a band of moms, we have collaborated on a few resolutions and goals for the next year and found five common themes in New Year’s goals — but not only do we have themes, we ideas how to actually accomplish those goals:

Don’t Say “ I Will Spend Less Time on Social Media”

The Social Media Addiction is Real (especially for bloggers!)

The Social Media Addiction is Real (especially for bloggers!) It is amazing how this problem affects everyone. It doesn’t matter how old you are, what gender you are or where you are from, everyone is known to ‘spiral’ on social media. In some ways, the natural shift in our society towards social media is natural; but if this is something you are trying to reduce, start with small goals. Find a way to resist the urge once a day. Whether this means putting your cell phone away in a drawer for an hour or two or going on airplane mode, this realistic goal will give you a place to start.  My sister also takes periodic respites from various platforms by deactivated for an amount of time. For many, including my sister, the all-or-nothing tactic can prove to be cathartic and therapeutic.  Also when using media, be mindful of what you are posting, check out our post on Social Media: Friend or Foe for what we mean. 

Don’t Say “I Will Lose Weight”

Instead, consider starting with being more mindful of your weight. What this means is that instead of weighing yourself obsessively or subconsciously avoiding the scale out of fear, setting periodic times to check your weight is the first way to face the facts. Whether it is even 3 or 4 days or on a weekly basis, being mindful will subconsciously stay with you as you move through your day — in turn, helping you lose weight.

PS Of course, studies have shown that tracking your calories on platforms such as My Fitness Pal will help dramatically. But always remember that the key to this method is to stay committed!

Don’t Say “I Will Eat Healthier”
Salad with Dinner
Salad with Dinner

Instead, commit to eating a salad with dinner each night. This is an example of starting small, especially if salad isn’t already a part of your diet. Such a strategy will not only taper your appetite, it will also help you get your greens and fiber!  This modification is easy to add to your diet, especially with the tasty ready made salads now available at most local grocery stores. Our favorite is the Sweet Kale Salad available at Costco (see some of our other Costco favorites here).

Don’t Say “I Will Spend More Time With the Kids, Family, and/or Friends”
No Phone Zone
No Phone Zone

Be specific about how you plan to do this.  Consider starting with phone-free meal times or designated phone-free zones in your home such as kids rooms.  Also, by announcing these goals to your family, they can help keep you accountable (I know my kids love to tell me when I have broken the rules).

Don’t Say “I Will Be Less Stressed”

This could be one of the most difficult on the list. We often think our stresses are out of our control. We can perceive our stress as something that happens to us but in fact, we can control our stress. Begin by creating a plan, and starting small. We don’t want to sound cliche but meditating (AKA just not thinking about anything) can be a useful way to tackle stress. Downloading helpful apps such as HeadSpace or SimpleHabit can be a great first step. Set daily alarms on your phone to check in with yourself and meditate! There is a reason why meditation gets a lot of hype and it’s because it works.  Just three minutes of peace and quiet can keep you focused for the rest of the day.  It’s true, I have been mindfully meditating several times a week for years — and it definitely took some getting used to.  The advantage of using this strategy is that you can do it anywhere, it requires no materials, and does not take a lot of time.

Don’t Say “I Will Be More Positive”

This one is also hard, especially if you have young children or complexities at work. BUT  instead of focusing on how to see the glass half full, if you pay attention to how often you see the glass half empty, you will inadvertently start seeing things on the bright side.  By tallying your complaints each day, you will become more aware of your negative tendencies. Doing so can hone one’s optimism and avoid negative thinking.  Don’t believe me? Just try it!

Hopefully one or some of these resolutions resonate with you and hopefully you can find a way to incorporate these suggestions into your life in the coming year.

Thanks for your support this past year.  We will continue to develop our content in a way that is meaningful to you in 2018, stay with us!

Xo,

Rina