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Motherhood

Did You Really Just Say That ?!?!

This may be why I hate going out sometimes…

Scenario 1:

LADY: Is that a new clutch?

ME: Yes! I just bought it from ___, and love it!

LADY: Yeah, I know someone with the same clutch — she has such tacky taste!

ME: (Um…did this girl just call me tacky?)

Scenario 2:

JUDGY MOM: So you’re taking the year off of teaching, right?

ME: Yes I am!

JUDGY MOM: You must have SO much time — what do you do all day? It must be nice to just

hang out all day and do nothing…

ME: (Really? REALLY?)

Scenario 3:

JUDGY LADY: So you’re working out a lot more now right?

ME: Yes!

JUDGY LADY: Really? I couldn’t really tell…

ME: (Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND?)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Has someone ever said something directly to you and you had to think to yourself, “WHAT?” Don’t get me wrong; I’m all about people having the right to express themselves and saying what they please, but does that give them the right to be completely socially inept? Does it give them the right to completely disregard your feelings…as a normal human being? Many times, when I am on the receiving end of an outlandish comment, I wonder if I’m possibly taking it the wrong way or heard it wrong. It’s completely possible that I had a moment of hyper-sensitivity and took the comment too personally. I’m not completely out of the woods here… The thing is when someone else in the room notices the comment and gives you that “wait, did she just….wait, did she just — WOAH!” The most memorable incident I’ve experienced involved my husband. I was caught in the middle of an awkward situation with another person and turned around — only to catch his high eye-brow raised glance. I felt like he expected for me to completely flip a table over it; I felt that I almost had to react just to show him that I wasn’t numb to it. I just calmly poured myself another glass of wine and went on about another conversation as if nothing happened while my insides twitched with major annoyance.

Later that night, he casually brought it up. I, of course exploded and he profoundly said, “why didn’t you just say something back?” While I wanted to gouge his eyes out for bringing up a great point — I thought, why didn’t I come up with a witty comeback? Why didn’t I somehow relieve the awkwardness by one-upping this girl and her viciousness? Why did I just take it and not stick up for myself? Of course I then turn to the usual conclusion I always do — it probably isn’t even worth it OR is it? Here’s the thing — people talk and say what they please…so I should receive what they say in the manner in which I please, right? I can try all I want to just ignore them, but is that giving them “permission” to do this repeatedly? If I speak up, then I’m all of a sudden overly-sensitive or feisty? If I don’t, I’m a pushover.

I’ve decided that there’s no winning. There’s no winning when dealing with completely socially inept people — you just need to know that you’re not the weirdo in the situation. Also…I just don’t have the mental capacity to worry about more drama than my everyday life with two crazy active children.  So to that socially inept person roaming around looking for his/her next prey…just shut-up already. No one wants your negativity and “rough around the edges” ways. No one cares if you are always right and have to have the last word. Just back off…because someday I will come up with a witty comeback that seems like a light-hearted joke and life will be good again.

Your Brainy Chick – Komi

**For some candid reads from witty women, check out our Chick Picks.

Chick Picks:

Are you there vodka? Its me, Chelea
Is everyone hanging out without me?

Ancestry.com D.N.A. “Do Not Assume” Test

Have you always wanted to find out your true heritage?  Do you think you know?  I thought I knew until I went to Ancestry.com and took their test.  The results were quite a surprise!

My Heritage…

With a last name like Svenson, blond hair and blue eyes, I have always been proud of my Swedish heritage.  When someone called me “the Swedish Bombshell”, it was my favorite nickname ever!  My father’s side of the family was Swedish.  His personality was charming, kind, and graceful.  He was like tennis player Matts Wilander, the quiet, dignified Grand Slam Champion you probably only sort of remember. 

Conversely, my mom’s side was the Irish side.  You know the loud type with a good story to tell?  Think more like John McEnroe: funny, hot tempered, the poster child for misbehavior and poor decorum on the court.  I’m not saying that was my Mom, but her family, well, I could see the feisty ancestral resemblance.

I told myself, I’m more Swedish than Irish.  I’m more Wilander than McEnroe.  I mean, I’m not a loud hothead (despite what my husband says).    I’m like a Swede – always under control – the cool-headed assassin you never hear coming.  Those of you who know me agree with me, right?  Right?! 

On good days I like to think that I look a little like my idol, Christy Brinkley, who’s was surely a Swede like me (she’s not).   Sure I have freckles, but so does Pippy Longstocking.  That impulsive anger that bubbles up and pops out with such ease, that’s not the Irish McEnroe in me, that’s the justified, rational meting out of fair and true Scandinavian justice!  And, ok, maybe I color my hair even lighter than it was when I was a baby.  That’s just a style choice.  There are dishwater blondes in Sweden, right? Right?!  Of course there are.  Phew, dissonance gone.  I’m Swedish again. 

With Matts Wilander
With John McEnroe

Embracing my heritage…

My sister in law (who’s half Swedish) and I took Swedish language classes in Andersonville’s Swedish Village. Oh, what fun we had! Since we saw ourselves as the America’s poster children for Sweden, we just knew we’d find the language easy.  Heck, it’s our mother tongue!  Who cares if the Swedish language has nine vowels with seventeen different sounds and a pitch accent?  It should be instinctive for us.  Right?  Right?! 

Immersing into my culture…       

I shopped at the Hannah Andersson store and drank glug on the holidays.  I embraced smorgasbords and added marzipan to my homemade pastries. I even started to eat herring.  And when I had the opportunity to play tennis with Mats Wilander, I jumped at the chance!  Of course he’d fall in love with me. (He only didn’t because he’s married).  

Rocking Hannah Anderson

The DNA test…a.k.a. the “Do Not Assume” test…  

With my parents still alive, I wanted us all to enter the Ancestry.com DNA test spit marathon (yes, they test your saliva).  Tip, don’t do the test right after you have coffee like I did.  Sorry, gross!  https://www.ancestry.com/dna/.   

I wanted to see just how Swedish I really was.  I was guessing somewhere between 30-60%.  My Dad is Swedish.  My mom is Irish, Scottish, and Belgian, and since the Vikings conquered vast swathes of Britain and the Normans conquered northern France, before also invading Britain, her side would probably contribute some Scandinavian as well.  My bragging to my husband about my Swedish ancestry (he thought I acted Irish) would finally be vindicated.  The possibility that this silly little test was a risk to my entire self-identity did not cross my pretty little Swedish mind.  

The results are in…. 

I checked my email often, and after eight weeks the results finally arrived. When I opened them up….I couldn’t believe my eyes!  My first thought was, how can I hide these results from my husband?  He’ll never let me forget this.  Turns out, I am just 1% Scandinavian! Along with Western Europe, I’m mostly Irish!  Say what???    I’m Swedish dammit!  I’m the Swedish Bombshell.  Aren’t I?  Apparently not.  

 

 

 

This is not a disaster…

This was, well, not a disaster, but a mind-bending change for me. I immediately looked up Christy Brinkley on Wikipedia and, to my great relief, she’s part Irish as well!  Phew.  I knew there was a strong resemblance between us!   We’re probably cousins.   

I always knew…

However, I think, in the back of my mind, I always knew.  I just didn’t want to admit it. I mean, I kind of fit the stereotype.  I’m like my Mom’s family.  I’m a dreamer.  I love to tell exaggerated stories, laugh, sing and be merry.  Maybe I’m even a little loud and opinionated.  Sure I’ve been known to drink a pint or two of Guinness on occasion.

Coming to terms with the news…

So I was embracing the wrong heritage all along.   Come to think of it, I do love watching John McEnroe get into fights with the umpires, and he was a hell of a lot better player than Wilander ever was.  I don’t like marzipan, herring is gross, Hanna Andersson is overpriced and kitschy, glug gives me a nasty hangover, and Swedish sounds like the Muppet meatball chef.   

I now have a story to tell…  

Now, I truly know what was always in my heart.  I love corned beef and cabbage.  I am in great company with Oscar Wilde, C.S. Lewis, Edmund Burke, Michael Flatley, U2, W.B. Yeats, and St. Patrick.  I think I’ll start taking Irish dancing lessons.

I’ve started writing limericks:  

“There once was a girl from Sweden,

Turns out she’s in the Irish legion.  

So she drank lots of Glug

Right out of the Jug

To drive away all of her demons”  

I’m going over to McGonagall’s to start learning more about my heritage.  Slainte forever baby!  

By Johanna Svenson Croll, Savvy Chic

Travel Friendly Beauty Products

When it comes to traveling I try to pack as minimal as possible. I mean anyone who knows me knows that I am a minimalist by nature. Too much of anything makes me nervous! This is especially true when it comes to packing my beauty products. Whether I am traveling for work, vacations or a friends wedding, I try to keep it simple.

When I’m flying with just a carry-on it’s been challenging for me to pare down my liquids to meet the requirements of TSA. This is when I decided solid makeup is my new travel companion. When I made the decision to travel with more “solid” makeup, I took a little extra time in the cosmetic department to learn, feel and work with these solids. Here are some of my favorite travel friendly products that I never leave home without.

FOUNDATION

For years I’ve sworn by Bobbi Brown’s foundation stick. I love this foundation for so many reasons. First being how compact and convenient it is. There’s no mess with this foundation! Best part? I can apply it with my fingers!  Whether I’m using it to touch up blemishes or using it as medium to full coverage foundation, this stick does the job.  It’s great in any climate too!  And for you ladies that love to take pictures….it photographs flawlessly!  I mean who doesn’t want to look flawless in a selfie, right?

CONCEALER

Cle de peau has one of the best concealer’s in the market (in my opinion). Super creamy and smooth. Less is more when it comes to this concealer.  This is a great product to brighten your eyes after a red-eye or a long day of traveling.

BLUSH AND HIGHLIGHTERS

The fabulous duo is great for obvious reasons. Two in one!  I absolutely love a great cream blush and highlighter. The advantage of cream blushes and highlighters is you have more control when applying. Whether you apply them with your fingers or a brush, the end result is a natural feel and look.

SUNSCREEN

Whether you’re final destination includes the hot scorching sun in Mexico, or the ski slopes of Colorado…protect yourself! If I’m going to be completely honest, there is not one sunscreen that I am loyal to. However, I always recommend it and I always travel with a solid one to avoid the mess. 

DRY SHAMPOO

Do you know the question “If you were ever trapped on an island what would you take with you?”  Well, ladies, this is it! Batiste, hands down, is the BEST dry shampoo around. Believe me when I say I’ve tried them all.  Yes, the full size bottle doesn’t follow TSA’s regulations but the travel size sure does.  One of the first things I do when I arrive to my final destination is spray this in my hair and immediately I forget that I was just sharing the same recycled air with 270 other people. Give it a try you won’t regret it! Chicks honor.

Happy Traveling!

Love, Your Beauty Chick-Deanna

 

 

Chick Picks:

 

Cle De Peau Concealer
Bobbi Brown Foundation Stick
Wander Blush Duo
Batiste Tavel Size Dry Shampoo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Chicks and Salsa is an Amazon Associate, please support us by ordering products from the links directly from this post.**

Summer Chick Flicks

Chicks and Salsa is made up of a team of seven women from different backgrounds, ages, and circumstances.  One thing we have in common is our love of women centered story lines and comedy.  The female experience is unique and we love every minute of it!  That being said we are super stoked about a few movies this summer that explore the havoc that women can wreak when they are together.  So mark your calendars, here are the movies you simply cannot miss in order of release:

Rough Night – June 16th

Scarlett Johanssen and her passé turn it up for the girl version of Hangover in Miami.  This movie complete with all the classic setups for a comedy is a guaranteed girls night movie.
Click image to watch the Red Band trailer on YouTube.

 

Girls Trip – July 21st

There is nothing like getting out of town and kicking back with friends on vacation.  Join Regina Hall, Jada Pinkett Smith, Queen Latifah, and Tiffany Haddish as they zip line across Bourbon Street and flash P.Diddy.

Click image to watch the Red Band trailer on YouTube.

 

Fun Mom Dinner – August 4th

As many of the chicks are moms, the concept of escaping from the kids is real! In Fun Mom Dinner, Kate Aselton and Toni Collette along with their friend turn up the fun in this hilarious comedy complete with karaoke, inappropriate flirting, and night off mom duty!

Click on the image to watch the trailer on YouTube.
These movies are sure to make getting out of the house with your friends worthwhile.
What are your favorite chick flicks of the past? Mine is The Sweetest Thing (remember that!?!?)

Your Party Chick,

 Rina