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Parallel Lives : A Story of Two Moms

Sonia and I, not surprisingly, talk every day.  That is EVERY SINGLE DAY for the last 36 years — minus those few times in college where all sisters fight, of course.

She is my lifeline and through her, I have learned so much about life.  When you have someone to bounce ideas, feelings, and circumstances off of, it can be a humbling experience.  Exchanging notes with my sister and all of our Chicks over the years has taught us one thing:

“We may have all come on different ships, but we’re in the same boat now. “

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

We Dress Up For Date Nights
We Practice Self Care

Realizing that we all have common human experiences like relationships, work, family, and responsibilities, is the secret to happiness. Sonia lives in downtown Chicago and I live in a small town in middle Georgia. It is easy for me to sometimes think that the grass is greener on the other side, but let me make my case otherwise.  I often joke that ‪Monday through Friday‬, my rural Georgia life and Sonia’s city life look exactly the same. The main difference is that she has better restaurant options on the weekends. Through my frequent talks with her, I see how the details of our lives are actually so similarly aligned. But the similarity of our human experience has been muddled in the recent years… thanks to the internet.

Social media can spread truth, but it can also be misleading. It makes you think that you’re supposed to be leading a certain lifestyle and meeting certain measures. But l let me tell you that behind all the photos, there is a lot of sacrifice.  As Mothers we all have to wake our kids up, hope that they are in a good mood, get them ready and shipped off to school, go to work or to the gym, pick up the kids, bus them around to after school activities, get dinner ready, and then wind down at night just to do it all over again the next day.  On top of the daily activities, we are trying to put our best foot forward to be our best and most beautiful selves, and think of creative ways to truthfully and meaningfully connect on social media platforms, arrange the meetings, attend the conferences, and organize the photo shoots. I could go on forever.

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Chicks And Salsa has a network of almost 15,000 women strong and we all agree that the struggle is real.  If you are lucky, you can carve out a few minutes to catch your breath, throw on a face mask and put your best foot forward every day. And remember, the emphasis on the ‘few minutes’.

This post has been a long time coming, a reminder that you are living your best life and that finding the silver lining in everything you do is a matter of perspective.  In my experience, Mother’s are the glue that holds everything together. It is our responsibility to also share what we are going through with each other and keep it real — because we are all going through it.  We also need to be there for each other because if we truly are the same, then the thoughts and feelings we experience in this journey through marriage, maturing, and parenthood is also the same. 

We Make Time For Our Chicks
We Get Our Stuff Done

Over the years we have tackled all kinds of issues with our friends and families, everything from divorce, counseling, death, illness, and bullying. But sometimes the ‘sisterhood’ and support is lacking when you see women criticize others or amplify each other’s shortcomings. This is our chance to unite and lift each other up. We each have good days and we each have bad days. Especially as Mother’s, Sonia and I can both attest to the strength it requires to remain a stable force in a constant moving stream that is family. I just wanted to remind you that before you wish you had someone else’s life, learn to love what you have and where you live — your every day is amazing, I promise. I recently wrote a reflective piece about a local place that means a lot to me and my family.  Find your special corner in this world and make it yours!

Cheers,
Rina

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I Spent 4 Hours and 49 Minutes on My Phone Today!! Should I be worried?

Ok, don’t judge me- but I really wanted to know exactly how much time I was spending on my phone so I measured it using the Moments App (ioS 12 also has a built in feature to help you keep track as well).  I was introduced to the app a while ago and I have been documenting my usage and time for the past few weeks.  I thought I was going to feel bad about the amount of time I spent, but I found something even more interesting and awesome instead!

If you have an iPhone here is how your can check your usage now!

Launch Settings from your Home screen. > Tap on Battery. > Wait a moment for Battery Usage to populate. > Tap on the Show Detailed Usage button to get a breakdown of foreground and background power usage. > Tap on Last 7 Days to get a broader look at power consumption over time.

**First pic is from one day, second pic is from seven day summary**

 

Screenshots from Moments App:

My Results

It turns out I get plenty of sleep – averaging 7-8 hours a night – awesome right!?! It also turns out that I spend almost 5 hours a day on my phone…I thought I would have negative feelings about this, but it turns out I don’t.  Let me explain.  I work at home and with my time divided between Digital Chicks Media and our blog, it makes sense to me that I would be spending the equivalent of a day’s work on my phone, aka my computer on the go. With social media and engagement at the core of what I do, I guess it is not surprising, but there is a silver lining to all this information.

Black and White Sweater Dress for $35 (available in every color) another one I love is linked here | Loafers are Chanel, shop similar here | My go to red lipstick is linked here 

The Silver Lining

I am living day-to-day moments for most of my day – that is time that I am spending with my family, at the gym, cooking, driving, etc.  That is a nice find that somehow I can’t ignore.  I actually felt good about that, is that weird?  My kids get home from school around 3:30PM and go to bed around 8PM. The main thing I try hard to work on is the amount of time I spend on my phone while they are home. I want to make sure that those 8 hours of living are happening sans my phone while my family is together.

Something my husband and I try to do walk away from our devices to resist the temptation to not be present in the moment while the kids are home.  While work can sometimes creep in trying to move to another room to finish out an email or call is a helpful way to recenter and be present in the time you are away from your phone.

The Takeaway

In life we have to strike a balance between the things that we do and find a place in our day to day lives for all of it.  Smartphones are a necessary evil that really are not that bad, they have enhanced our lives by so much.  So, next time you resent the amount of time you may be spending on your phone, find out how much time you are actually spending and let that knowledge either empower you or help you create changes you wish to see to make being in the moment more meaningful.

Your Chick,

Sonia

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#MomsOffDuty – What Does That Mean? Celebrating 100 Posts!!

This is our 100th Post!!! That is more than two years of Chick Picks, Fashion Posts, Motherhood Rants, and Party Tips and we could not have done it without you!! Thank you so much for supporting Chicks And Salsa!!

One of our most frequently used hashtags is #MomsOffDuty.  It was brought to our attention that ‘life outside of motherhood’ and ‘Moms off duty’ implies that we did not have children or did not care about them. This could not be further from the truth!  It just means that we are not going to beat ourselves up about taking a little ‘me time‘ every now and then.

Yes, we are moms and yes we are obsessed with our kids (as most Moms are). BUT the blog is a way for us to find an avenue outside of the realm of crafting, cooking, and career. Chicks And Salsa is a way to use creativity and media to connect with other women in a way that encourages us to develop ourselves as members of this society.

Reflections:

As women, especially those of ethnic descent, we have a tendency to place ourselves last — behind spouses, kids, career. If there is anything I have learned in these past few years, it is that putting yourself first can feel good sometimes, too. It is also important to realize that ‘mom guilt’ never goes away: we will always wish that when we try a new restaurant with friends, that our husbands were there or when we discover a new park to run at, that we could exercise and watch the kids at the same time.
Moms Off Duty—that is how we feel when we squeeze in a coffee with friends during the day or get a babysitter and vent to a friend over cocktails after school. It is all-encompassing. It is the food that we eat, the activities that we participate in, the civic work that we do, the obligations we have at work, and our responsibilities at home. It is about taking a moment to build yourself as a woman, no matter what corners that life brings your way. Stringing together the moments outside of our routines are often the ones that we remember and cherish.
Celebrating Each Other
You Do You
We challenge you to be ‘off duty’ once in a while and do something for yourself with or without someone else. Push yourself to a new limit and rediscover an old hobby. Or listen to some old tunes and dance like no one is watching. It is possible to be a great mother, an influencer, a career-builder, and an independent woman — find your way to putting yourself first and in doing that, find yourself.
Lastly, thank you for all the love that you have shown us these past few years, hopefully we have more to offer as we learn more about all of you!!
With so much love, your chicks,
Rina and Sonia
Shout out to Neema, one of our contributors and Mom-extraordinaire, see her posts here.
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5 Reasons Why NOW is the Right Time For You To Buy An Instant Pot

I love to cook, and even more so after I had kids. I wanted to be the super mom that made fresh home cooked meals for her kids. Let’s be real though cooking is – messy and time consuming. The easy way out sometimes is to pull something out of the freezer. BUT buying an instant pot was life changing.

I bought the instant pot last summer only because it was on sale. I had no clue how to use it and frankly speaking it sat in the box for 4 months because its intimidating! I would look at it and say to myself, “that thing looks way too confusing, and I don’t have time to figure it out.”I was so wrong. It is the most convenient and efficient cooker I have EVER used.

Time

It has saved me so much time (like tons). Once the meal is in there and you have set the time – you can walk away. The meal then cooks and switches to keeping the food warm or turns off depending on what you have chosen. The instant pot cooks 70% faster than a slow cooker. If you’re Indian and are comparing it to our mom’s Indian pressure cookers: IT IS 100% safer (those things are crazy).

6 Quart Instant Pot (My Recommendation) | Instant Pot CookbookAccessories for Steaming

Nutrients

The instant pot cooks with high heat which comes in handy in thoroughly cooking your food. The temperature is between 239 degrees F to 244 degrees F, it kills toxins that slow cookers may miss. In addition, vegetables and other foods will maintain their nutrients by being cooked at higher temps.

Scent Free Cooking
I like to make Indian food, and Indian food aroma can spread throughout the house. My dear husband would walk into the home and be bombarded with the smell of onions and masala. I’ve switched a lot of my Indian meals to instant pot meals. Not only has it saved me time, but my house doesn’t smell like a restaurant anymore!
Neat and Clean

Using the instant pot reduces the amount time you will spend cleaning your kitchen. There is only one pot to clean in the Instant pot. No stove messes at all. The is a WIN WIN in my book. I dread kitchen clean ups.

Healthier Meals

Whatever your work schedule consists of I promise the instant pot is going to make your life easier. It’s so easy for everyone to use. With a little bit of planning, you can have your instant pot meal all ready for you the moment you walk in the door. So you can have “fast food” that is far more healthier. The Instant Pot Pressure Cooker Cookbook was a great buy for me to get started. I’ve been able to keep things ready and my husband will come home and just dump it in the instant pot and start the IP.

I initially had bought a 3qt instant pot but real quickly realized that the 6qt was way more handy dandy plus had more functions.. I did a lot of research and bought this one. It is the most efficient for me: Indian food, baby food, snacks, homemade yogurt, and even ghee!

Pro Tip #1: For larger beans like Rajma (Kidney Beans) or Chole (Garbanzo Beans) you will need to up the cook time to 90 minutes instead of the pre-set 30 minutes.  Smaller beans will cook just fine with the default setting.

Pro Tip #2: For those of you with young children like me, the Instant Pot Duo has a sterilize feature that can be used for baby bottles and breast pumps – such a convenient feature!

Pro Tip #3: Want to make Daal Makhani or Biriyani in your Instant Pot?? Follow us on Pinterest for Indian Instant Pot recipes!

Invest in one- you won’t regret it!

Your Chick,
Neema
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