Parallel Lives : A Story of Two Moms
Sonia and I, not surprisingly, talk every day. That is EVERY SINGLE DAY for the last 36 years — minus those few times in college where all sisters fight, of course.
She is my lifeline and through her, I have learned so much about life. When you have someone to bounce ideas, feelings, and circumstances off of, it can be a humbling experience. Exchanging notes with my sister and all of our Chicks over the years has taught us one thing:
Realizing that we all have common human experiences like relationships, work, family, and responsibilities, is the secret to happiness. Sonia lives in downtown Chicago and I live in a small town in middle Georgia. It is easy for me to sometimes think that the grass is greener on the other side, but let me make my case otherwise. I often joke that Monday through Friday, my rural Georgia life and Sonia’s city life look exactly the same. The main difference is that she has better restaurant options on the weekends. Through my frequent talks with her, I see how the details of our lives are actually so similarly aligned. But the similarity of our human experience has been muddled in the recent years… thanks to the internet.
Social media can spread truth, but it can also be misleading. It makes you think that you’re supposed to be leading a certain lifestyle and meeting certain measures. But l let me tell you that behind all the photos, there is a lot of sacrifice. As Mothers we all have to wake our kids up, hope that they are in a good mood, get them ready and shipped off to school, go to work or to the gym, pick up the kids, bus them around to after school activities, get dinner ready, and then wind down at night just to do it all over again the next day. On top of the daily activities, we are trying to put our best foot forward to be our best and most beautiful selves, and think of creative ways to truthfully and meaningfully connect on social media platforms, arrange the meetings, attend the conferences, and organize the photo shoots. I could go on forever.
Chicks And Salsa has a network of almost 15,000 women strong and we all agree that the struggle is real. If you are lucky, you can carve out a few minutes to catch your breath, throw on a face mask and put your best foot forward every day. And remember, the emphasis on the ‘few minutes’.
This post has been a long time coming, a reminder that you are living your best life and that finding the silver lining in everything you do is a matter of perspective. In my experience, Mother’s are the glue that holds everything together. It is our responsibility to also share what we are going through with each other and keep it real — because we are all going through it. We also need to be there for each other because if we truly are the same, then the thoughts and feelings we experience in this journey through marriage, maturing, and parenthood is also the same.
Over the years we have tackled all kinds of issues with our friends and families, everything from divorce, counseling, death, illness, and bullying. But sometimes the ‘sisterhood’ and support is lacking when you see women criticize others or amplify each other’s shortcomings. This is our chance to unite and lift each other up. We each have good days and we each have bad days. Especially as Mother’s, Sonia and I can both attest to the strength it requires to remain a stable force in a constant moving stream that is family. I just wanted to remind you that before you wish you had someone else’s life, learn to love what you have and where you live — your every day is amazing, I promise. I recently wrote a reflective piece about a local place that means a lot to me and my family. Find your special corner in this world and make it yours!