A busy Saturday — filled with running errands, soccer games, and catching up on household work from a crazy work week.  In all relief, I settle into bed early to tune into the latest crime show I missed.  After all, the kids are tucked away in bed and my husband is out — I’ll take advantage of this time to myself.  I decide to play on my phone first…which I later regret.  I stumble across a post that I’m not a part of…that I was never meant to be a part of.  I brainstorm and think hard — was I invited to this outing and never saw the invite or replied back?  I slowly realize that this post establishes the fact that everyone was invited but me.  I come to the harsh reality that I have been left out from this group of “friends.”  The group that would have routine outings and I was once a part of have now firmly stated their stance and that I was out.

I feel a moment of uncertainty.  I feel almost 12.  I feel a moment of rejection.  This moment was just that though…just a moment.  I quickly realize that it’s okay — I’m okay without that group.  That group was full of toxicity anyways and maybe I’m okay without being invited even though the harsh cut-off did bruise me.  

I brush off my feelings and focus on the positives I have going on…I have the friends that think of me and would think of me first when organizing an outing.  I am grateful that I have friends that do keep my feelings in mind and would never cut me out like this.  I have friends that would be enraged at the thought of me sitting here in distress feeling left out of a little outing.

I go back to watching my crime show feeling like a mature adult — opposite as to how I felt moments ago.  I realize that it’s okay…after all, not everyone gets invited to everything and this moment makes things clearer than ever for me.  I’m at that point in my life that every day should be lived to the fullest and not to be wasted on feeling lesser than anyone or anything.  

The thing is, that I’m an adult and I have the life experiences to cope and get over these situations.  Will I have feelings and emotions, yes but I also can get over these things better.  I worry that my children and children I know aren’t there yet (see our post on Teaching Children Compassion).  They don’t know how to cope and get over the feelings I just experienced.  Social media hadn’t existed when I was growing up.  There was no way of knowing an outing was going on with so and so.  I wasn’t exposed to the evilness that some people have started using social media for — as a weapon.  More and more I am realizing that people are using social media to get back at others or to show off their friendships and outings.  Social media isn’t always being used as it was intended for which was to keep people connected.  

I use social media.  I actively post social gatherings and special moments.  I love keeping up to date with the ones closest to me.  I enjoy the pictures and memes shared on a daily basis.  While I’m somewhat horrible at keeping up with correspondences, it does help me keep up with my friends and families’ lives.  

Lately, I have made the conscience decision to refrain from posting anything that could intentionally or unintentionally hurt anyone.  I do post updates about my kids, articles I find interesting, or even my tidbits about life from time to time.  I do intend on posting special events — but not to get back at anyone, but to celebrate friends and family.  I don’t feel that posting a picture when I’m out, knowing very well that someone is not included will make me feel better about myself.  I don’t feel that purposely showing off to make others feel worse is the point and I won’t fall for it.

Check out this video that speaks to Why Fake Friendships are Ruining You Life!

What are your thoughts?

Your Brainy Chick,

Komal