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5 ‘P’owerful Ways to Connect With Your Spouse

Please tell me I am not the only one who feels like sometimes life gets too busy…to the point that there are evenings when my husband and I are hardly able to chat in the evenings.  I have spoken with my chicks and my mom about this and it seems normal for life to cut into relationships — but honestly, no one likes to feel like they are not ‘connected’ to their spouse or significant other (SO).  Having been married for 13 years with two young children, it’s easy to let one busy evening become two nights in a row and then, before you know it, a week!

Here are some important reminders, the five ‘P’s, to keep your relationship on track and healthy:

Prioritize

Identify that you miss your spouse…this is an easy way to kick yourself back into gear. The best place to start is to communicate that longing. It helps get the wheels turning for you and for your SO. I tell my husband I miss him all the time, even when he is right in front of me. It lets him know that I am thinking about him and that time with him is a priority for me.

Secrets for winning at Relationships
Anil and Rina : Established in 2005
Plan

Remember, actions express priorities. So once you acknowledge that you miss each other, it is time to make a plan. We were so good about date nights in the beginning, but lately (in the last 3 years) not so much. This year, we want to find a way to get back to that place where we set aside time for each other. Making time to do things together (yes, without the kids and hustle of daily life) expresses priorities.

Play

Remember those little things you did when you had fewer responsibilities? In our case, it was watch a lot of movies, NBA basketball games, and walking around new parts of town. Those activities are fun, flirty, and lighthearted. Don’t just go out to a fancy dinner — go to sports bar and catch the game again, like old times.  Play time together is just as important for adults as it is for kids. Remind each other of the easy, playful times amidst the weight of growing responsibilities with families.

Sonia and Badal Celebrating 10 Years!

Sonia and Badal Celebrating 10 Years!

Physical Contact

Do you know it only take 60 SECONDS of physical skin to skin contact to get the endorphins going?  Take that playfulness further by sneaking in moments to flirt at home. These moments can be an unexpected hug or kiss in the kitchen, a slight touch of the hand as you walk by. Making sure to remember that even the slightest physical contact with your spouse can make the body have a positive biological response.

Pillow Talk

This one is great. It ties in with #2, planning.  Each night, when the lights are out, it is nice to have a little recap. I tell my husband a quick story about the kids or myself. He will tell me something funny that happened at the office. We try to keep the exchange lighthearted (and phone free), to help us laugh together and end the day with a smile.  Having this brief re-connectivity can help be a reset and recharge button for the relationship. I actually think about pillow talk throughout out the day and look forward to that moment of peace when it is just the two of us.

** Bonus ‘P’: Poetry**

When I first met my husband he would write me lovely snippets in emails, on cards, and on napkins (anything he could get his hands on!) from time to time, sneaking in a romantic thought here an there really drew me to him.  Since that time, I have see many other relationships use this fun way to communicate with each other.  Check out some of my favorite love poems written by my uncle in his book, The Start Of Something Beautiful.  Maybe scoop up a copy for your honey for old times sake, or check out some of our other ideas for gifts.  Here is a sample from the book:

God Exists Poem

Hopefully, you can use some of these tips. When I am on the same page as my spouse, I move through my day with confidence and positivity. When we are ‘off’, it affects me, the kids, my work, etc.  Are you like that?  Drop me a comment below on what you do to connect with your spouse.

Cheers,

Rina

 

Park City, Utah Will Give You Life

When I first became a mother I was told by veteran Mom’s that taking time for yourself is important. When my kids were infants I found it difficult to separate myself from family life and always carried a feeling of “mom guilt.”  Now that my kids are 5 and 7, I understand why that advice is so important.  With no diapers, bottles or sleep schedules, I have a lot less “mom guilt” leaving the kids to spend time with their dad or grandparents to have some “me” time.

Destination: Park City, Utah

Back in October, I went with four friends to Park City, Utah. We stayed at the Montage in Deer Valley. Though it was off-season, and we didn’t go for skiing, there was still plenty to do! We rented a four-bedroom residence which offered a kitchen to make at-home meals or store late night snacks. We didn’t really make good use of the kitchen since we were trying to escape the daily routine of family life including cooking and dishes!  The Montage offered complimentary coffee and assorted teas in the morning which was a nice, and much needed, touch.  

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A quick note: For those of you who have altitude sickness, Deer Park sits at almost 7000 feet so you might want to come prepared with some extra oxygen or Advil for minor headaches. I suffered my first night there, but staying hydrated helped get me back up and running the next day! Learn more about altitude sickness here.

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Sundance and North Forty Escapes

Two excursions that we really enjoyed were our trip to Sundance and our trip to North Forty Escapes.  The Montage was kind enough to offer a complementary car for us to drive out to Sundance. We did a hike to Stewart Falls which made for the perfect outdoorsy addition to our girls trip. If you decide to make your way there, bring a sweatshirt or light jacket…there are several microclimates along the hike which make you both hot and cold (be prepared)!  It’s not overly strenuous but also not easy so make sure you are wearing proper shoes.  

Our drive to North Forty Escapes took us through the weaving back roads of Park City.  If you plan to drive yourself, be sure you have your bearings and directions..we lost cell service… you don’t want to get stuck in the middle of nowhere!  When we arrived we did some clay shooting and horseback riding.  It made for a fun and productive way to be together in the great outdoors.  The sign for the ranch is small so be sure to keep your eyes peeled on your drive in.  

Tried Shooting For The First Time
Tried Clay Shooting For The First Time (not hunting, I am a vegetarian and animal lover!)


No trip is complete without food!  As a vegetarian, I can be picky about the places I suggest. Two dinner spots that stuck out were, Chimayo and River horse.    Chimayo is a quaint restaurant which offers Mexican fare.  I would recommend the wild mushroom enchiladas with a delicious spicy margarita.  River horse was a more dressy upscale restaurant that offered live music and delicious food!  The pot-stickers and tofu dishes were outstanding!  Both were beautiful in their own ways and accommodating to food requests.

When it was all said and done, a quick weekend trip away was just what the doctor ordered. The spa at the Montage (the #1 spa in Park City) was the cherry on top!  When I came home I was ready to get back to the routine and daily life of being a good wife and mom to my family.

Your Chick,

Sonia

5 Realistic Resolutions You Can Keep in 2018!

Transitioning between jobs, friends, or even years is usually accompanied with a sudden desire to do things differently — and, if possible, better than the time before. A new year is upon us as is another opportunity for us to, yet again, try to better ourselves and our choices.  What have you considered improving in the next year? Are your goals personal or professional?  As a band of moms, we have collaborated on a few resolutions and goals for the next year and found five common themes in New Year’s goals — but not only do we have themes, we ideas how to actually accomplish those goals:

Don’t Say “ I Will Spend Less Time on Social Media”

The Social Media Addiction is Real (especially for bloggers!)

The Social Media Addiction is Real (especially for bloggers!) It is amazing how this problem affects everyone. It doesn’t matter how old you are, what gender you are or where you are from, everyone is known to ‘spiral’ on social media. In some ways, the natural shift in our society towards social media is natural; but if this is something you are trying to reduce, start with small goals. Find a way to resist the urge once a day. Whether this means putting your cell phone away in a drawer for an hour or two or going on airplane mode, this realistic goal will give you a place to start.  My sister also takes periodic respites from various platforms by deactivated for an amount of time. For many, including my sister, the all-or-nothing tactic can prove to be cathartic and therapeutic.  Also when using media, be mindful of what you are posting, check out our post on Social Media: Friend or Foe for what we mean. 

Don’t Say “I Will Lose Weight”

Instead, consider starting with being more mindful of your weight. What this means is that instead of weighing yourself obsessively or subconsciously avoiding the scale out of fear, setting periodic times to check your weight is the first way to face the facts. Whether it is even 3 or 4 days or on a weekly basis, being mindful will subconsciously stay with you as you move through your day — in turn, helping you lose weight.

PS Of course, studies have shown that tracking your calories on platforms such as My Fitness Pal will help dramatically. But always remember that the key to this method is to stay committed!

Don’t Say “I Will Eat Healthier”
Salad with Dinner
Salad with Dinner

Instead, commit to eating a salad with dinner each night. This is an example of starting small, especially if salad isn’t already a part of your diet. Such a strategy will not only taper your appetite, it will also help you get your greens and fiber!  This modification is easy to add to your diet, especially with the tasty ready made salads now available at most local grocery stores. Our favorite is the Sweet Kale Salad available at Costco (see some of our other Costco favorites here).

Don’t Say “I Will Spend More Time With the Kids, Family, and/or Friends”
No Phone Zone
No Phone Zone

Be specific about how you plan to do this.  Consider starting with phone-free meal times or designated phone-free zones in your home such as kids rooms.  Also, by announcing these goals to your family, they can help keep you accountable (I know my kids love to tell me when I have broken the rules).

Don’t Say “I Will Be Less Stressed”

This could be one of the most difficult on the list. We often think our stresses are out of our control. We can perceive our stress as something that happens to us but in fact, we can control our stress. Begin by creating a plan, and starting small. We don’t want to sound cliche but meditating (AKA just not thinking about anything) can be a useful way to tackle stress. Downloading helpful apps such as HeadSpace or SimpleHabit can be a great first step. Set daily alarms on your phone to check in with yourself and meditate! There is a reason why meditation gets a lot of hype and it’s because it works.  Just three minutes of peace and quiet can keep you focused for the rest of the day.  It’s true, I have been mindfully meditating several times a week for years — and it definitely took some getting used to.  The advantage of using this strategy is that you can do it anywhere, it requires no materials, and does not take a lot of time.

Don’t Say “I Will Be More Positive”

This one is also hard, especially if you have young children or complexities at work. BUT  instead of focusing on how to see the glass half full, if you pay attention to how often you see the glass half empty, you will inadvertently start seeing things on the bright side.  By tallying your complaints each day, you will become more aware of your negative tendencies. Doing so can hone one’s optimism and avoid negative thinking.  Don’t believe me? Just try it!

Hopefully one or some of these resolutions resonate with you and hopefully you can find a way to incorporate these suggestions into your life in the coming year.

Thanks for your support this past year.  We will continue to develop our content in a way that is meaningful to you in 2018, stay with us!

Xo,

Rina

Loreal Elvive – Your Solution For Dry And Dull Hair

Ever since hair serums hit the market a decade ago, I have seen friends multipurpose them: for weight, for styling, for texture, on dry hair, and on wet hair. Hair serums were designed to assist with hair movement and to protect against the elements of everyday styling — this means that using them arbitrarily doesn’t optimize their use. But us chicks have found the ultimate hair tool. L’oreal Paris recently released the Elvive Extraordinary Serum in the United States to set the record straight on what a hair serum is supposed to do.

Using products according to the directions and knowing what is in the products you use is easier than ever.  The Elvive serum is a versatile serum but because it is not a very heavy oil, it doesn’t work that well for weight, I found that it works best on damp and freshly shampooed hair. It is designed to provide moisture and protection therefore applying it to clean hair will make all the difference.  Without adding more than a few drops, you can avoid too much weight and enjoy full, vibrant hair texture.

Before And After
Before And After
Before And After – The picture on the left is my hair without product and looks heavier and less voluminous, whereas the photo on the right is after using the Elvive serum.  The photos only tell part of the story since you cannot feel the difference.  The hair on the right is softer and lighter to the touch.

Having used a variety of serums myself, the blended botanical extracts and oils combined with the overall feel and smell is the perfect storm for my hair. I might have a lot of hair but it quickly turns dry and dull if I don’t protect it. But don’t take my word for it, check out the amazing reviews on Amazon.


If hair loss is something you deal with or if you are looking for more natural solutions to getting #HairGoals, check our post about the no-poo and inversion method!

XOXO,

Rina

**A sample of the product was given complimentary via Inflenster to Chicks And Salsa in exchange for this review, however the opinions held herein are all our own.**