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5 Realistic Resolutions You Can Keep in 2018!

Transitioning between jobs, friends, or even years is usually accompanied with a sudden desire to do things differently — and, if possible, better than the time before. A new year is upon us as is another opportunity for us to, yet again, try to better ourselves and our choices.  What have you considered improving in the next year? Are your goals personal or professional?  As a band of moms, we have collaborated on a few resolutions and goals for the next year and found five common themes in New Year’s goals — but not only do we have themes, we ideas how to actually accomplish those goals:

Don’t Say “ I Will Spend Less Time on Social Media”

The Social Media Addiction is Real (especially for bloggers!)

The Social Media Addiction is Real (especially for bloggers!) It is amazing how this problem affects everyone. It doesn’t matter how old you are, what gender you are or where you are from, everyone is known to ‘spiral’ on social media. In some ways, the natural shift in our society towards social media is natural; but if this is something you are trying to reduce, start with small goals. Find a way to resist the urge once a day. Whether this means putting your cell phone away in a drawer for an hour or two or going on airplane mode, this realistic goal will give you a place to start.  My sister also takes periodic respites from various platforms by deactivated for an amount of time. For many, including my sister, the all-or-nothing tactic can prove to be cathartic and therapeutic.  Also when using media, be mindful of what you are posting, check out our post on Social Media: Friend or Foe for what we mean. 

Don’t Say “I Will Lose Weight”

Instead, consider starting with being more mindful of your weight. What this means is that instead of weighing yourself obsessively or subconsciously avoiding the scale out of fear, setting periodic times to check your weight is the first way to face the facts. Whether it is even 3 or 4 days or on a weekly basis, being mindful will subconsciously stay with you as you move through your day — in turn, helping you lose weight.

PS Of course, studies have shown that tracking your calories on platforms such as My Fitness Pal will help dramatically. But always remember that the key to this method is to stay committed!

Don’t Say “I Will Eat Healthier”
Salad with Dinner
Salad with Dinner

Instead, commit to eating a salad with dinner each night. This is an example of starting small, especially if salad isn’t already a part of your diet. Such a strategy will not only taper your appetite, it will also help you get your greens and fiber!  This modification is easy to add to your diet, especially with the tasty ready made salads now available at most local grocery stores. Our favorite is the Sweet Kale Salad available at Costco (see some of our other Costco favorites here).

Don’t Say “I Will Spend More Time With the Kids, Family, and/or Friends”
No Phone Zone
No Phone Zone

Be specific about how you plan to do this.  Consider starting with phone-free meal times or designated phone-free zones in your home such as kids rooms.  Also, by announcing these goals to your family, they can help keep you accountable (I know my kids love to tell me when I have broken the rules).

Don’t Say “I Will Be Less Stressed”

This could be one of the most difficult on the list. We often think our stresses are out of our control. We can perceive our stress as something that happens to us but in fact, we can control our stress. Begin by creating a plan, and starting small. We don’t want to sound cliche but meditating (AKA just not thinking about anything) can be a useful way to tackle stress. Downloading helpful apps such as HeadSpace or SimpleHabit can be a great first step. Set daily alarms on your phone to check in with yourself and meditate! There is a reason why meditation gets a lot of hype and it’s because it works.  Just three minutes of peace and quiet can keep you focused for the rest of the day.  It’s true, I have been mindfully meditating several times a week for years — and it definitely took some getting used to.  The advantage of using this strategy is that you can do it anywhere, it requires no materials, and does not take a lot of time.

Don’t Say “I Will Be More Positive”

This one is also hard, especially if you have young children or complexities at work. BUT  instead of focusing on how to see the glass half full, if you pay attention to how often you see the glass half empty, you will inadvertently start seeing things on the bright side.  By tallying your complaints each day, you will become more aware of your negative tendencies. Doing so can hone one’s optimism and avoid negative thinking.  Don’t believe me? Just try it!

Hopefully one or some of these resolutions resonate with you and hopefully you can find a way to incorporate these suggestions into your life in the coming year.

Thanks for your support this past year.  We will continue to develop our content in a way that is meaningful to you in 2018, stay with us!

Xo,

Rina

Social Media: Friend or Foe

A busy Saturday — filled with running errands, soccer games, and catching up on household work from a crazy work week.  In all relief, I settle into bed early to tune into the latest crime show I missed.  After all, the kids are tucked away in bed and my husband is out — I’ll take advantage of this time to myself.  I decide to play on my phone first…which I later regret.  I stumble across a post that I’m not a part of…that I was never meant to be a part of.  I brainstorm and think hard — was I invited to this outing and never saw the invite or replied back?  I slowly realize that this post establishes the fact that everyone was invited but me.  I come to the harsh reality that I have been left out from this group of “friends.”  The group that would have routine outings and I was once a part of have now firmly stated their stance and that I was out.

Where was my invite?

I feel a moment of uncertainty.  I feel almost 12.  I feel a moment of rejection.  This moment was just that though…just a moment.  I quickly realize that it’s okay — I’m okay without that group.  That group was full of toxicity anyways and maybe I’m okay without being invited even though the harsh cut-off did bruise me.  

I brush off my feelings and focus on the positives I have going on…I have the friends that think of me and would think of me first when organizing an outing.  I am grateful that I have friends that do keep my feelings in mind and would never cut me out like this.  I have friends that would be enraged at the thought of me sitting here in distress feeling left out of a little outing.

I go back to watching my crime show feeling like a mature adult — opposite as to how I felt moments ago.  I realize that it’s okay…after all, not everyone gets invited to everything and this moment makes things clearer than ever for me.  I’m at that point in my life that every day should be lived to the fullest and not to be wasted on feeling lesser than anyone or anything.  

The thing is, that I’m an adult and I have the life experiences to cope and get over these situations.  Will I have feelings and emotions, yes but I also can get over these things better.  I worry that my children and children I know aren’t there yet (see our post on Teaching Children Compassion).  They don’t know how to cope and get over the feelings I just experienced.  Social media hadn’t existed when I was growing up.  There was no way of knowing an outing was going on with so and so.  I wasn’t exposed to the evilness that some people have started using social media for — as a weapon.  More and more I am realizing that people are using social media to get back at others or to show off their friendships and outings.  Social media isn’t always being used as it was intended for which was to keep people connected.  

Keep Calm, It’s Just Social Media

I use social media.  I actively post social gatherings and special moments.  I love keeping up to date with the ones closest to me.  I enjoy the pictures and memes shared on a daily basis.  While I’m somewhat horrible at keeping up with correspondences, it does help me keep up with my friends and families’ lives.  

Lately, I have made the conscience decision to refrain from posting anything that could intentionally or unintentionally hurt anyone.  I do post updates about my kids, articles I find interesting, or even my tidbits about life from time to time.  I do intend on posting special events — but not to get back at anyone, but to celebrate friends and family.  I don’t feel that posting a picture when I’m out, knowing very well that someone is not included will make me feel better about myself.  I don’t feel that purposely showing off to make others feel worse is the point and I won’t fall for it.

Check out this video that speaks to Why Fake Friendships are Ruining You Life!

What are your thoughts?

Your Brainy Chick,

Komal