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You Can Always Be Better – Summer Reads and Needs

How is it even possible that summer just started and now my trip to Chicago is already almost over!  Time really does fly when you are having fun!  As some of you may know, I am part of a fabulous book club (shout out to the Guilty Wives Club) and as I do every summer I take on a summer reading list with a combination of best sellers, recommendations and this year I have included some self exploration too!  As a woman I constantly second guess myself as an individual, as a wife, and of course as a mother.  I am always wondering if there is a better way to do what I am doing or how I can make sure that I am giving my kids the tools to be amazing individuals and citizens.


This year’s list had a little bit of everything but I wanted to share the life books that I really enjoyed that gave me just enough pep in my step each day to see things differently and offered some new ideas and perspective into my day to day life.

The List

You Are a Badass

Don’t feel bad about pepping yourself up sometimes- isn’t that what power posing is all about?? This book offers hilariously inspiring stories, sage advice, easy exercises, and the occasional swear word to help you stop being self deprecating and change the way you see yourself and your future.

 

 

 

You Do You

With social media shifting our focus to other people all the time, You Do You reminds you to spend just as time and energy on yourself as you do on other people.  If everyone is busy doing ‘their’ thing, shouldn’t you be busy doing yours?? This easy read may be the reminder by your bedside that you need to just do you!

 

 

 

It’s Not About How Good You Are, It’s About How Good You Want To Be

If you are like me and asked yourself if there is more out there for you in this world or this life then author Paul Arden has some words of wisdom for you! He takes on issues as diverse as problem solving, communicating, playing your cards right, making mistakes and creativity- all things I try to tackle each and every day!

 

 

 

The Little Book Of Life Hacks

Yumi Sakugawa shares a wide range of useful and unexpected tips for looking and feeling better, streamlining and improving your home life.  Everything from creating fun and artsy DIY projects that can brighten your living space. Everything from removing  dark circles from under your eyes, making cold brew iced coffee at home, throwing the perfect party on a budget, working out at home without a gym membership and (my favorite!) taking the perfect afternoon power nap…and more!  You can peek in and out of this book at will and get a whole lot out of it!

 

 

Parenting Recommendations

My next two recommendations are heavy on the parenting side of things.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have two daughters, both are amazing yet incredibly different, one is self motivated, one is not, one is independent, the other is not.  I have read both GRIT and The Power of Habit and these books have taught me so much about behaviors that successful people have and where and how they were taught them.  It allows parents the freedom to exercise a little tough love to teach your child a lesson – I find tough love to be so hard sometimes.  I always make excuses for my kids for example, I think that they don’t understand, or that they are too young, but these books have given me the gumption to challenge them.  To my surprise, I have watched the kids step it up.  If you need a scientific perspective with a track record on parenting then check these books out, you won’t regret it!

Well I hoped you enjoyed my book recommendations, what did you read this summer?

Your Chick,

Rina

Teaching Children Compassion

If my children grow up to be compassionate, my job as a mother will have been a success.

Confidence is important too, but without compassion, it might not have the catalyst to be channeled in the best way.  Yes, if I had to choose one trait I’d wish to instill in my children, it would be compassion.

Sadly, it’s easy to normalize the violence and craziness that has become our new normal.  It’s scarily easy to be desensitized to the tragedy-filled headlines we’ve become accustomed to reading.  In our hyper-connectivity, we can’t shut out the bad.

Sometimes leading by example doesn’t cut the mustard and we can use the help of visual aids.  To that end, I did some research on children’s books that help drive home the message of compassion.  We all want a safe and beautiful world in which to raise our children but we only have the power to control our own environment, and that starts at home.

Enemy Pie (Inclusion)

First impressions may not be what they seem.  When a new boy moves into the neighborhood, a father devises a plan to facilitate an unlikely friendship by using a recipe called “Enemy Pie”.  As he instructs his son, one of the steps is to spend a whole day playing with the enemy.   The book endearingly examples the struggles and benefits of making new friends, and the surprise outcomes that arise from preconceived notions.

 

 

Pete the Cat: Rock on Mom and Dad (Gratitude)

I love love love the message of this book!  How many times do moms and dads go un-thanked and seemingly unappreciated?  Pete is determined to show his gratitude to his parents, whom he recognizes do so much for him, and ultimately learns it’s not the size or type of gift, but the gratitude that comes from deep within that matters.

 

 

Maddi’s Fridge (Poverty/Hunger)

Two friends enjoy each other’s company.  They go to school together and play together, yet one has a very different home life.  She doesn’t always have the energy to keep up with her friend because she doesn’t have enough food to eat.  This book so artfully and beautifully raises awareness about poverty and child hunger.  Maddi’s friend is thoughtful enough to pack extra food in her lunch to feed her friend but they sometimes spoil before lunchtime.  So she and her mother brainstorm ways in which to help Maddi and her family.  This is a thought-provoking book to help you and your child form a discussion on possible ways to help curb hunger in your community.

The Earth Book (Environment)

What better way to teach compassion than by empowering your little one with the tools they need to keep the planet green and clean? This book cleverly showcases different ways and tips with which even the youngest member in your family can help.  Caring for the planet teaches compassion that can be transferred to other aspects of life

 

 

It’s Okay to Be Different (Diversity)

Geared towards the younger child, this book creatively    showcases a myriad of differences, from missing teeth, to facial features, to skin color, that make us uniquely us.  More importantly, the book emphasizes that those differences are okay!  We’re not all made to look alike or like the same things.  Part of the learning process is in accepting those differences in us and in other.

 

 

The Name Jar (Acceptance, Inclusion)

When Unhei moves to the States from Korea, she understandably has some anxiety.  Will the other kids like her? Will she fit in?  Rather than introduce herself by her Korean name, she tells the students that she’ll have a western name picked out by the following week.  So, her classmates help by contributing their suggested names into a name jar for Unhei to pick from.  In a turn of events, one classmate comes to visit her neighborhood and overhears Unhei using her real name.  He then hides the name jar to encourage Unhei to use her Korean name and share it’s special meaning with the class, which she ultimately does.  This book celebrates diversity, multiculturalism,  and accepting our own uniqueness.

Spaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun (Bullying)

Kids can say mean things and it’s hard to be the object of teasing.  Lucy is confident and proud of her differences (she likes spaghetti and ketchup in a hot dog bun!), despite Ralph’s comments.  The tables are turned when one day, Ralph needs help and Lucy is there to the rescue.  It’s a wonderful book to launch pad discussions about modeling kind behavior and staying true to ones values even in the face of opposition.

 

 

I hope you love this list as much as my family did!

Your Brainy Chick,

Serene

 

Did You Really Just Say That ?!?!

This may be why I hate going out sometimes…

Scenario 1:

LADY: Is that a new clutch?

ME: Yes! I just bought it from ___, and love it!

LADY: Yeah, I know someone with the same clutch — she has such tacky taste!

ME: (Um…did this girl just call me tacky?)

Scenario 2:

JUDGY MOM: So you’re taking the year off of teaching, right?

ME: Yes I am!

JUDGY MOM: You must have SO much time — what do you do all day? It must be nice to just

hang out all day and do nothing…

ME: (Really? REALLY?)

Scenario 3:

JUDGY LADY: So you’re working out a lot more now right?

ME: Yes!

JUDGY LADY: Really? I couldn’t really tell…

ME: (Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND?)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Has someone ever said something directly to you and you had to think to yourself, “WHAT?” Don’t get me wrong; I’m all about people having the right to express themselves and saying what they please, but does that give them the right to be completely socially inept? Does it give them the right to completely disregard your feelings…as a normal human being? Many times, when I am on the receiving end of an outlandish comment, I wonder if I’m possibly taking it the wrong way or heard it wrong. It’s completely possible that I had a moment of hyper-sensitivity and took the comment too personally. I’m not completely out of the woods here… The thing is when someone else in the room notices the comment and gives you that “wait, did she just….wait, did she just — WOAH!” The most memorable incident I’ve experienced involved my husband. I was caught in the middle of an awkward situation with another person and turned around — only to catch his high eye-brow raised glance. I felt like he expected for me to completely flip a table over it; I felt that I almost had to react just to show him that I wasn’t numb to it. I just calmly poured myself another glass of wine and went on about another conversation as if nothing happened while my insides twitched with major annoyance.

Later that night, he casually brought it up. I, of course exploded and he profoundly said, “why didn’t you just say something back?” While I wanted to gouge his eyes out for bringing up a great point — I thought, why didn’t I come up with a witty comeback? Why didn’t I somehow relieve the awkwardness by one-upping this girl and her viciousness? Why did I just take it and not stick up for myself? Of course I then turn to the usual conclusion I always do — it probably isn’t even worth it OR is it? Here’s the thing — people talk and say what they please…so I should receive what they say in the manner in which I please, right? I can try all I want to just ignore them, but is that giving them “permission” to do this repeatedly? If I speak up, then I’m all of a sudden overly-sensitive or feisty? If I don’t, I’m a pushover.

I’ve decided that there’s no winning. There’s no winning when dealing with completely socially inept people — you just need to know that you’re not the weirdo in the situation. Also…I just don’t have the mental capacity to worry about more drama than my everyday life with two crazy active children.  So to that socially inept person roaming around looking for his/her next prey…just shut-up already. No one wants your negativity and “rough around the edges” ways. No one cares if you are always right and have to have the last word. Just back off…because someday I will come up with a witty comeback that seems like a light-hearted joke and life will be good again.

Your Brainy Chick – Komi

**For some candid reads from witty women, check out our Chick Picks.

Chick Picks:

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