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relationships

Lifestyle

Dating Your Spouse

It is said that time flies, and boy do I believe it more than ever now!  I’ve been married for 11 years and, truth be told, it feels like it’s only been 2!  Granted 11 years may seem like honeymooners to some, if feels like an eternity to me!

In the early stages of our marriage, impressing each other was still very much a part of our daily routine. As time has gone on and children have entered the picture, we have learned to grow our friendship stronger than ever before. Aligning our values through parenting has created a bond stronger than I ever knew I would have with my spouse. I’ve always been in search of the perfect friendship, and what I’ve realized over time is they are hard to come by. Similarly, it would be unrealistic to find the perfect marriage. What I have found in my marriage is the perfect friendship. My husband and I have had our fair share of ups and downs, but honestly I feel like we are #FriendshipGoals. 

I feel very fortunate to have known my husband since I was 8 years old. We were next-door neighbors growing up, and even went to elementary school, middle school, and high school together.  Having gone through all those stages, I feel like we know a lot about the ins and outs of how each other work. Despite that, it wasn’t until after we got married that I really saw who my husband was as a person and as a partner in life. 

The Takeaway

Marriage is no easy feat. It takes effort, energy and understanding. Making time for the other person, especially with little humans, takes skill and willpower. The only thing that has kept us going over the years is our strong bond over communication. Trying to talk things out and make space for each other has encouraged us to continue finding the silver lining in this crazy journey we call life. I couldn’t think of a better person than my best friend to do it with.  It’s not the materialistic things, but the small things that matter.  If I could do  it all over again in the next life I would do it all over again with him. #FriendshipGoals #DateYourSpouse

Your Chick,
Sonia

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Lifestyle

End of the Year Reflections — Not Resolutions

The holiday season is in full swing, and while everybody is talking about what they’re getting for the holidays, I can’t help but to think about the upcoming new year. 

The new year brings time for self reflection and high hopes for the upcoming year. One month ago I turned 36. While I consider myself young still, I’ve learned that in the last 10 years I’ve not only physically aged, but emotionally as well.  Instead of a resolution, I like to think about the upcoming year in terms of reflections.

Some Reflections:

Embracing My Age

In the craziness of social media and falsified images, it’s not unusual to have moments of insecurity.  I’ve learned to follow people who inspire me. People who don’t use social media as an avenue to brag, but more as a place to share and inspire. As a chick in Chicks and Salsa I try my level best to do just that. 


Do something today that your future self will thank you for.

Quality Over Quantity

Back in high school popularity was defined by the number of friends you had and the number of people who were dying to be added to that list.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that focusing on my family and small group of good friends is where I am needed and desired most.  My friendships are with those that I learn from, admire, and look up to. These friends bring me up and help me continue to see the glass half full.

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Slowing Down

I used often hear veteran mothers is tell me that my kids will be grown before I know it. I couldn’t agree more now, I have no idea where last 8 years have gone! I have two children, one 8 year old daughter and one 6 year old son. Every day on the way to school, the kids and I talk about the day ahead. In doing that, week after week, 8 years have quickly passed. I want to focus on slowing down…try not to fill our schedules with too many social obligations that we “should” do.  Life is short and tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so I want to make this one life count and make all the relationships I have around me meaningful.

Diet and exercise are always a part of my New Year’s reflections, duh!  However, personally, I’ve learned that my relationships with others are what help me get up in the morning. I want to focus on being a good person and allowing good energy to flow around me.  

So Happy New Year from me to you!

Your Chick,

Sonia

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Lifestyle

5 ‘P’owerful Ways to Connect With Your Spouse

Please tell me I am not the only one who feels like sometimes life gets too busy…to the point that there are evenings when my husband and I are hardly able to chat in the evenings.  I have spoken with my chicks and my mom about this and it seems normal for life to cut into relationships — but honestly, no one likes to feel like they are not ‘connected’ to their spouse or significant other (SO).  Having been married for 13 years with two young children, it’s easy to let one busy evening become two nights in a row and then, before you know it, a week!

Here are some important reminders, the five ‘P’s, to keep your relationship on track and healthy:

Prioritize

Identify that you miss your spouse…this is an easy way to kick yourself back into gear. The best place to start is to communicate that longing. It helps get the wheels turning for you and for your SO. I tell my husband I miss him all the time, even when he is right in front of me. It lets him know that I am thinking about him and that time with him is a priority for me.

Secrets for winning at Relationships
Anil and Rina : Established in 2005

Plan

Remember, actions express priorities. So once you acknowledge that you miss each other, it is time to make a plan. We were so good about date nights in the beginning, but lately (in the last 3 years) not so much. This year, we want to find a way to get back to that place where we set aside time for each other. Making time to do things together (yes, without the kids and hustle of daily life) expresses priorities.

Play

Remember those little things you did when you had fewer responsibilities? In our case, it was watch a lot of movies, NBA basketball games, and walking around new parts of town. Those activities are fun, flirty, and lighthearted. Don’t just go out to a fancy dinner — go to sports bar and catch the game again, like old times.  Play time together is just as important for adults as it is for kids. Remind each other of the easy, playful times amidst the weight of growing responsibilities with families.

Sonia and Badal Celebrating 10 Years!

Sonia and Badal Celebrating 10 Years!

Physical Contact

Do you know it only take 60 SECONDS of physical skin to skin contact to get the endorphins going?  Take that playfulness further by sneaking in moments to flirt at home. These moments can be an unexpected hug or kiss in the kitchen, a slight touch of the hand as you walk by. Making sure to remember that even the slightest physical contact with your spouse can make the body have a positive biological response.

Pillow Talk

This one is great. It ties in with #2, planning.  Each night, when the lights are out, it is nice to have a little recap. I tell my husband a quick story about the kids or myself. He will tell me something funny that happened at the office. We try to keep the exchange lighthearted (and phone free), to help us laugh together and end the day with a smile.  Having this brief re-connectivity can help be a reset and recharge button for the relationship. I actually think about pillow talk throughout out the day and look forward to that moment of peace when it is just the two of us.

** Bonus ‘P’: Poetry**

When I first met my husband he would write me lovely snippets in emails, on cards, and on napkins (anything he could get his hands on!) from time to time, sneaking in a romantic thought here an there really drew me to him.  Since that time, I have see many other relationships use this fun way to communicate with each other.  Check out some of my favorite love poems written by my uncle in his book, The Start Of Something Beautiful.  Maybe scoop up a copy for your honey for old times sake, or check out some of our other ideas for gifts.  Here is a sample from the book:

God Exists Poem

Hopefully, you can use some of these tips. When I am on the same page as my spouse, I move through my day with confidence and positivity. When we are ‘off’, it affects me, the kids, my work, etc.  Are you like that?  Drop me a comment below on what you do to connect with your spouse.

Cheers,

Rina