friends, girl talk, Lifestyle, Motherhood, women

Social Media: Friend or Foe

September 27, 2017

A busy Saturday — filled with running errands, soccer games, and catching up on household work from a crazy work week. In all relief, I settle into bed early to tune into the latest crime show I missed. After all, the kids are tucked away in bed and my husband is out — I’ll take advantage of this time to myself. I decide to play on my phone first…which I later regret. I stumble across a post that I’m not a part of…that I was never meant to be a part of. I brainstorm and think hard — was I invited to this outing and never saw the invite or replied back? I slowly realize that this post establishes the fact that everyone was invited but me. I come to the harsh reality that I have been left out from this group of “friends.” The group that would have routine outings and I was once a part of have now firmly stated their stance and that I was out.

I feel a moment of uncertainty. I feel almost 12. I feel a moment of rejection. This moment was just that though…just a moment. I quickly realize that it’s okay — I’m okay without that group. That group was full of toxicity anyways and maybe I’m okay without being invited even though the harsh cut-off did bruise me.

I brush off my feelings and focus on the positives I have going on…I have the friends that think of me and would think of me first when organizing an outing. I am grateful that I have friends that do keep my feelings in mind and would never cut me out like this. I have friends that would be enraged at the thought of me sitting here in distress feeling left out of a little outing.

I go back to watching my crime show feeling like a mature adult — opposite as to how I felt moments ago. I realize that it’s okay…after all, not everyone gets invited to everything and this moment makes things clearer than ever for me. I’m at that point in my life that every day should be lived to the fullest and not to be wasted on feeling lesser than anyone or anything.

The thing is, that I’m an adult and I have the life experiences to cope and get over these situations. Will I have feelings and emotions, yes but I also can get over these things better. I worry that my children and children I know aren’t there yet (see our post on Teaching Children Compassion). They don’t know how to cope and get over the feelings I just experienced. Social media hadn’t existed when I was growing up. There was no way of knowing an outing was going on with so and so. I wasn’t exposed to the evilness that some people have started using social media for — as a weapon. More and more I am realizing that people are using social media to get back at others or to show off their friendships and outings. Social media isn’t always being used as it was intended for which was to keep people connected.

I use social media. I actively post social gatherings and special moments. I love keeping up to date with the ones closest to me. I enjoy the pictures and memes shared on a daily basis. While I’m somewhat horrible at keeping up with correspondences, it does help me keep up with my friends and families’ lives.

Lately, I have made the conscience decision to refrain from posting anything that could intentionally or unintentionally hurt anyone. I do post updates about my kids, articles I find interesting, or even my tidbits about life from time to time. I do intend on posting special events — but not to get back at anyone, but to celebrate friends and family. I don’t feel that posting a picture when I’m out, knowing very well that someone is not included will make me feel better about myself. I don’t feel that purposely showing off to make others feel worse is the point and I won’t fall for it.

Check out this video that speaks to Why Fake Friendships are Ruining You Life!

What are your thoughts?

Your Brainy Chick,

Komal

friends, girl talk, Life, Lifestyle, Party, Travel, women

Forget Boat Ownership – Why Boat Sharing is Perfect for Me!

September 6, 2017

I’m a Chicago gal….well mostly. Though I was born in Missouri, I’ve spent most of my life in the Chicagoland area. I moved to downtown when I started my undergraduate career at Depaul University in 2001. It wasn’t long before I realized the beauty of living in this not-so-hidden Midwestern gem of a city!

From quaint storefronts, to cute coffee shops, and culinary excellence; I knew what would make this glorious city even more amazing is having or renting a boat. Lake Michigan sits on the shorelines of, arguably, one of the most beautiful skylines in the US. After getting married and doing a brief stint in the suburbs, my husband, two children and I decided to move back to Chicago. Despite awkward questions and wonder of doing what most people don’t, it was one of the best decisions for our family.

One of the things we love the most about this city is all the green spaces, the family friendly events and the accessibility to Lake Michigan and it’s beautiful beaches. We couldn’t help but question the possibility of boat ownership. I feel like it rung in our ears every time we thought of it….the comments of the best days of boat ownership are the “day you buy” it and the “day you sell it.” That’s when we discovered boat shares.

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One thing was certain, we wanted to share our love for the city and Lake Michigan with our children. We chose to work with Pinnacle Yachts as our first boat share. Kudos to my husband who took all the coursework to get certified to get “behind the wheel” of the boat.

Personally speaking, some of the pros of boat sharing are:

-Lifelong memories

-Hosting

-Jumping in the Great Lake Michigan

-The Play Pen

-Being directly under the fireworks as they take off from Navy Pier

-Seeing the beauty of our city from the water day or night

-Cruising the Chicago river

-Tying up to a restaurant for some yummies to share on the boat

-Sleeping on the boat after a long day in the sun

-Joining the likes of others with shared interest of the great outdoors

-Having the option to hire a captain should the driver want to enjoy a cocktail or two with friends and family

-No Mortgage

-No Maintenance

Here are some of the cons:

-Opening and closing the boat

-Scrubbing it down

-Not having first pick on popular dates on the boat

Clearly the pros outweigh the cons and though it’s a luxury, it’s a one to look into for Summer 2018 indeed. The costs for boat sharing vary greatly based on the type of boat, days you would like to spend on the water and amenities you need when you are out there. If you have any more questions or would like to learn more about my experience, email me at [email protected]

See you on the water! Check out our Boat Party for Savvy Chick Vlog here.

Your Party Chick,

Sonia

friends, girl talk, Life, Motherhood, Parenting

Work-Life Balance and Motherhood

August 30, 2017

Summer 2016 — I found myself at the cusp of making a life-altering decision. Should I take a step back from my teaching career or should I keep marching onwards? Should I take this year off? Should I take that time off that I always dreamt of taking? Should I sacrifice a year of providing the second (and minimal) income for my family? So many ifs, but no guarantees. What if I intend on taking only a year off and it turns into ten years off? What if I fail at staying home and running this already busy house-hold? Again, so many ifs and no answers. I needed that magic 8 ball more than ever!

So I took the plunge. In early August, I firmly announced that I have finally made the decision to stay home — to take care of the house, kids, and myself. “Finally…this will be awesome for you and all of us,” my husband replied. Of course, I knew that we would have to knock a few things off of our list of expenses…cleaning services, take-out nights, and of course my own spending (yikes). Running on one income wouldn’t be easy at all, but it’s now or almost never. My kids are young and it would be nice to just be around. I had that notion that you only live once…so why not?

Staying at home meant I could finally fulfill the one thing I always wondered…how does it feel dropping the kids off at school and brunching with my friends, running errands, working out, and even tidying up the house in peace? Throughout my 10 years in the workforce, I always wondered how it felt to just be at home. To have my OWN time to do my OWN things. Things that no one would even know about! I was giving myself a year and I needed to make it count!

So I fulfilled my wonder…I stayed home. I was that mom — I volunteered at school and made sure breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner were all mostly home-made and prepared with ease. I made sure that permission slips were signed on time and activities were scheduled. I made sure that homework was done and both kids were content at drop-off and pick-up. I was a homemaker…probably not the best, but I tried. I worked hard to keep up with the daily chores while juggling sick kids, doctor appointments, and opposite schedules. Did I always succeed? NO! But really, it was on my clock. No one was the boss of me…and that felt amazing.

So then comes May and a possible teaching position is presented to me. Do I go for it or do I stay home for another year? What if I stay at home and regret not even trying for it? Well you only live once, right? Why not? After all — this was the job of my dreams. I went to graduate school knowing I wanted to be as innovative in my teaching methods as possible and this private institution allowed for that. After a few weeks of complete uncertainty, I got the call — I got the offer! My first reaction was disbelief…did I just accomplish this huge life-long goal of mine? WOW.

Then of course, came the mourning period — flashbacks of my year off would pop up out of the blue. The times I was easily able to stay home with a sick child. The times I was able to single-handedly run the household while my husband was out of town. The times I was the boss of me and no one to really answer to! Were these flashbacks strong enough to keep me back from fulfilling my dream of accepting this teaching position? NO. In fact, I look back and realize that while it was a great break, I was always secretly yearning to get back into the classroom. I missed the teaching world. I have this opportunity and the time is NOW.

So now comes the balance. How do I maintain the juggling act of keeping up with all the duties I enjoyed fulfilling when I was home all while achieving my career goals? With every step forward, I would have to let go of some of them. It’s all about trying to attain that balance and learning from what works and what doesn’t. We will be entering a new set of routines — early morning lunch preps (for the kids AND me), school drop offs and pickups, after-school activities, homework, dinner along with my own work now — all while trying squeezing in some ME time.

All I can do now is to hope for the best and keep the momentum up. I’m in my late thirties and finally achieved my lifelong career goal. I spent the last year setting up the foundation and routines of running this household somewhat efficiently…now I just need to keep it up. Now is the time to make it all count and all I can do is to take it one day at a time. I have to keep in mind that you only live once.

Here’s to keeping it real,

Your Brainy Chick,

Komi

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What does it look like “Behind The Scenes”

August 23, 2017

Whenever I post images or “bts” images on my social media pages, I get flooded with text messages from “hey, how can I become one of your models” or “what really happens behind the scenes?” I thought for my next blog post it would be fun to share some of my experiences.

For the past four years I have worked with a client helping create the looks for their spring and fall bridal campaigns. When I think back to our first campaign together, I can’t help but be reminded just how far we have come as a team. I can’t emphasize the word “team” enough because it truly is a group effort.

There are so many preparations that go into executing a successful shoot. A lot of creative energy and communication goes into. One of our first steps is our creative team will send emails and photographs of inspiration. After several meetings and inputs from everyone, they will usually confirm the mood and the process of building our sets start to take place.

While our set is starting to slowly be brought to life, the photographer will usually send his/her inspiration for lighting. I can’t tell you how important lighting is. It’s everything. You can have the most beautiful model, on a perfect set, wearing a gorgeous gown. If the lighting is off then everything is off! No pressure, right?!

Once we have all agreed on a lighting that is appropriate for our inspiration, we start brainstorming hair, makeup and styling looks. This can be from choosing a model with the right hair color, down to the color of their natural lips. Does she have freckles? How will they photograph? Does she have a birth mark on her back? Can our team of editors get rid of it and will it be expensive to do so.

From there we start our search for the perfect models. This process can be a long and draining process. They not only have to fit the image the creative team desires but they need to be the exact height and measurements as the sample sizes as they will not alter them.

These are really just a few but most important steps in bringing a vision to life. As I mentioned it’s truly a team effort. I always look forward to these shoots because they allow me the opportunity to work with such creative people whose passion for art and excellence is contagious.

Love,

Deanna-Your Beauty Chick

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