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Who is REALLY the hero? Mom Vs. Dad

May 10, 2017

Mother’s Day — the day we give praise to all the mother’s around us…our own mother’s, our mom friends, and even those that are like mothers. The flowers, homemade cards, and of course the school crafts all come pouring in. This is also the perfect time to think about the ironies behind how our children view mothers. For instance, do our children really view us as givers? Are we just givers of endless amounts of snacks and ridiculous requests? Let’s not mention the endless hours of sleep we are deprived of, the enormous amounts of guilt we feel, and the thousands of unfinished cups of coffee (sadly waiting on the counter all day waiting to be enjoyed)?

I once asked my children what they thought I did all day…the answers varied. My overly observant daughter replied (in a nice complete sentence), “I believe you clean and cook and make sure everything is perfect by the time we get back from school.” My son, who sees the world much MUCH simpler replied, “I don’t know…what do you do? Do you just wait by the door for us to get back home?”

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You may be wondering why I decided to title this “Mother’s Day” tribute, “The Father, The Hero…” — let me explain. Before I continue, I would like to lay out a disclaimer…this post in NO way is putting down father’s and saying they don’t do squat (even though, let’s be real…).

Spring Break — I was told to take it easy (by my very kind Doctor). My husband had already planned to take a couple days off to hang out and hopefully play some golf. Luck would have it that I’m down and the weather wasn’t golf-appropriate. He stepped up and came to the rescue (I inserted that for those about to go all “at least your husband helps…blah blah blah” on me).

What does a crazy mom do when she hears she’ll be “down” for a few days? Plan. I made sure we were stocked up on groceries (end-less snacks) for him. I made some meals — easy heat-up meals, ready to go in the refrigerator for him. I made sure all the laundry was done and folded (and EVEN put away) for him. I did all this to not only help him take over, but also to ease my own stresses on being “down.”

During my stages of bed-ridden bliss, my darling children would visit me in bed. They would bring me sweet cards, sneak me treats, and even serenade me with a song and nicely demand a TV show. During their visits, they would also go on about how “daddy was doing.”

“Daddy made us lunch mommy — JUST like you!” — so he just heated up the food I prepped and then served it? Nice.

“Daddy gave us ice cream with sprinkles AND chocolate syrup!” — so he simply scooped out ice cream and gave into the kids’ whining for more sugar? Wuss!

“Daddy laid out my pajamas for me!” — so he opened a drawer AND took the nicely folded PJs out? What a man!

Oh and my all-time favorite…

“Daddy READ us a book!” — he can read?? Get out!

Here’s my take on it…kids don’t expect their fathers to perform and execute tasks the way us moms do. They expect the whole “your mommy is better at this than I am so just bear with me” spiel. They naturally expect their mothers to complete tasks effortlessly. I asked a male friend about this and he simply replied, “you ladies are just naturally better than we are.”

And with that — the end.

There’s a reason my children were incredibly happy when I was back — their routines were back in place. They were happy that lunch was prepared for them by ME, they were actually content with MY dessert portions, they appreciated the way I kept their lives in order (including their never-ending laundry), and they really enjoyed MY story-times with them. Even though my husband tried his best, there’s nothing that could replace a mother’s touch. That unique blend of love, care, and sometimes over compulsive behavior! A mother knows how it should be done and even when things blow up, she can effortlessly fix it without a second thought.

Happy Mother’s Day, ladies…you may have a crummy day today or hopefully not. Just know, you’ve got this — you don’t need to try to be the BEST because in your childrens’ eyes, you already are. Simple.

Cheers to that!

Your brainy chick,

Komi

food, Motherhood, Parenting, Party, women

Shared Birthday Parties

May 3, 2017

Kid’s birthday parties: What they are … and where they’re headed.
When I was growing up and that special time came around, my mom would throw a heartfelt birthday party for me in my backyard. There were hot dogs, games like pin the tail on the donkey, a homemade cake, and presents that were actually opened in front of the guests. That’s all changed.

Elaborate parties……
When my eldest child turned one, I celebrated by throwing her a magnificent birthday party that she would never forget (or at least I wouldn’t). The fact that her birthday lands on St. Patrick’s Day made it even more fun! I hired the local children’s Irish dance troupe to perform. A traditional corned beef and cabbage feast was served to the adults, and there was an amazing spread for the children, which, since it was all over their faces, was mostly lost on them. For the pièce de résistance, there was a huge Shamrock cake. All of our friends in the neighborhood were invited. It was a celebration to remember!
The days of elaborate parties are over……
Fast forward 8 years, and the days of elaborate kids birthday parties are over, for the most part, at our house. I’ve changed my ways and become more “practical”. In fact, with my friends, we have started throwing “shared” birthday parties.
Even my hubby is on board……
It all started when my husband started to realize the number of birthday parties filling our weekend. He would ask (because he’s usually clueless about our weekend plans), “What are we doing this weekend?” My reply seemed to always be, “We’re going to a birthday party.” He’d reply, “Another one? I just saw those people last week. Don’t we have any other friends? We’ve got to get a life.” You see, we have three children, and each one has around 20 kids in their class. Do the multiplication, and you’re looking at something like 60 parties per year, more than one per week every week of the year.

The goody bags……
No offense, but most of the parties were essentially the same. They were held at huge venues, gifts were collected in a box and never opened in front of the guests, and a pre-written thank you card was handed out in the goody bag as we left. Isn’t being invited to a party gift enough? And, do we have to hand out candy in a gift bag after giving the kids high fructose corn syrup fake juice (sorry), cake and ice cream to say, “Thanks for coming!” More like here’s your fattened, hyper, overtired youngster to deal with for the next two hours. He’s your problem now (thank God). I’m like thanks a lot! See you next week! Once my child even received a basketball as part of an elaborate gift bag! A really nice one too! Actually, that was a score (no pun intended) but my kids have also received gift cards. Am I the only one who thinks this is too much? My Mom wouldn’t believe the extravagance that goes on nowadays.
What to give?……
For gifts, I either go to Amazon to buy another $40 birthday gift for a child who already has everything, or (don’t tell) I, sometimes, go to the attic where I hide away the presents my children have received that were duplicates of ones we already had, and find one to re-gift. Come on, you’ve all done it! They’re perfectly good toys! Right? Moving on . . .
A lightbulb moment……
One day, the other savvy chick and I were discussing birthday party ideas for our soon-to-be 5 year old boys. We analyzed all the possibilities and dates to have these parties when, at the same time, a light bulb went off in our heads!
Let’s throw a “joint” birthday party!……
Not the adult kind some parents need after one of these triple birthday party weekends, but one that celebrates our sons birthdays together! Since our sons were born only 4 days apart, it made total sense! We figured we were saving the rest of the class the rigmarole of another weekend dominated by another lame kid’s birthday party (the party, not the kid)!
Ok, do the math!……
On average, I shell out around $500 for each child each year. The first birthday parties were more. Hmmm……3 kids X $500 = $1,500 per year on birthday parties! Now let’s really get into tricky math and base this on 8 years of birthday celebrations! $1,500 X 8 = $12,000. Now that’s some serious cake!
I know what you’re thinking……
Before you start thinking, “Oh, I get it, they spend half the amount and receive 100% of the gifts!” WRONG. We make it clear on the invitations, “No Gifts Please”! We find most people adhere to that request.
An end to popularity contests……
Sometimes parents aren’t sure if the people they invite will come. They don’t want their child to be hurt and embarrassed so they decide not to throw a party at all. By including all the moms in the class in this planning, every kid will have a birthday and no one will feel left out.
Benefits to Shared Birthday Parties……
1) Cost savings! You can spend half the amount! Or share with a couple of people in the class and save 2/3rds on your birthday budget!
2) You get your time back on the weekends!
3) You don’t have to rush around and spend another $40 on a generic gift! (Or search through your cob webbed attic!)
4) Every kid gets a birthday party.
5) The best benefit of all is the relationships you form while planning the parties. You make friends and get to know the parents and kids better!
6) Finally, less sugar….less sugar….less sugar….. If you are a mom like me that watches your children’s sugar intake, you have just reduced the amount of cake and harmful food dyes they are going to consume this year.
The idea has caught on……..
These 2 savvy chicks were thrilled with the success of their idea. And this might shock you. Neither child complained or felt cheated! My son loved his party! So much so that we are having it again this year with 4 other kids who’s birthdays are also in the Spring; including our brainy chick’s son! My son actually shares the same birthday with a boy in his class. (May the 4th be with you!) Now two other moms with children in that class are hosting a shared birthday next month! Don’t forget that each child still gets their own family party. That’s important. It’s when our kids can open presents and get attention from those closest to them.
In conclusion……
We haven’t done this every year for every child. Some years we still want to throw a party just for our little darling. Other times we allow our child to have a party that brings only a few friends together for a special experience, either because it’s an expensive activity, a long drive away, or it’s an all-day experience. Those are great and memorable too.
Key to Successful Shared Birthdays……
1) In order for this to work well, you need to include all the moms who’s children have birthdays the same time of the year. Depending on the class size, maybe 3-5 shared parties a year. Inclusion is the key. Offer it up so everyone has the opportunity to participate if he/she would like.
2) Be flexible! Work with the group of women on finding the venue, time and date.
3) Divide up the responsibilities! You need one person to “coordinate” the master list and start assigning responsibilities! This is best handled by the “spreadsheet” mom. You know who I’m talking about!
4) Make sure each child’s name gets into the Happy Birthday song. It’s funnier the more kids you have sharing a birthday.

Josie Croll, Savvy Chick
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friends, girl talk, Life, margaritas, Party, women

Party With Purpose

April 19, 2017

Being an informed individual sometimes means facing difficult realities. Social media is a place that people turn for information, or at least it is for me. I like and follow pages on Facebook that give me the information I am looking for. There are times, though, that I am left speechless. The posts with happy endings always leave me with an extra skip in my step, but the ones that don’t, leave me with a feeling of lost hope and helplessness. In thinking of the latter, I realized we all have an immense potential to make a difference, no matter how large or small the scale.

There are two things that I think we all like to do; have a good time, and when possible do something for a good cause!

Chicks, it’s time to do things differently. We all love getting together with friends — it’s a chance to let our hair down, talk about that skinny mom on instagram, and have a glass of wine. Why not, party with purpose? Whether you think that doing charity is for the greater good or charity work is a self-fulfillment activity, either way — charity work is good. And doing it with your friends, wine, and chips and salsa (eh, eh?) is even better! Help do your part and be bigger than yourself with these fun ways

Sole Hope Party-

A great example of this, is to host a “Sole Hope” party. All attendees bring an old pair of jeans (God only knows how many I have laying around) and $10. You simply trace patterns provided by Sole Hope on your jeans and cut them. Once done the cut-outs are sent with the money to make shoes for children in Africa. How easy and purposeful….and all while hanging with the ones you care about and over a glass of wine! More information can be found at solehopeparty.org. Sole Hope is just one of so many ways we can give back. Since some of us simply can’t drop our lives to go first hand to make a difference, there are established and vetted organizations that can help do our part.

(Insert Your Charity of Choice) Fundraiser-

Educating guests on the work of an amazing charity while you are gathered is a great way to spread awareness and take a moment to share your connection to the organization. Do not overthink this!! Just gathering and collecting donations can be as passive or active as you want it to be. However, be clear in your invitation that it is your intention to collect donations while you party. Make it easy for your guests by either setting out a jar or by passing out envelopes to collect donations. I like to leave out some brochures for my guests to browse while we hang out. Check out Invitation Consultants for ways to ‘word’ your invitations.

Bunco For Babies-

Nothing like a game night to get the laughter and fun started. This old housewives gambling game is easy, quick, and fun. With very few materials, and little bit of wine your group of friends can have a lot of fun and do a whole lot of good a the same time. Consider a 50/50 buy in, charge $30 per person to play and then the winner takes 50% and the charity gets 50%. A little competition to kick off the weekend is a great way to party with purpose. Never played bunco before? No problem, get on the bandwagon today and learn here.

Holiday Toy Drive Party-

This is an easy idea and makes getting together during the holidays a little more joyous. Reach out to your local hospital or another local organization that serves children in your area to see what gifts are most needed by the children in your community. Once you have that list, when hosting ANYTHING during the holidays, ask that guests bring an unwrapped toy or book to the party to donate. In the past we have also requested an ‘Angel Tree’ from our local Salvation Army and asked that guests take a name on their way out.

So, when you plan your next get together, I urge you to think about a cause that is meaningful to you and incorporate it into the things that you are already doing. With these ideas, without a doubt, you will feel you’ve partied with a purpose!

Regards,

Your Party Chicks

Beauty, friends, women

Contouring and All It’s Hype

April 12, 2017

With the help of social media, contouring has become one of the most popular trends. You can’t walk into a cosmetics department today and not be bombarded by sales associates asking you to “check out” their contour palettes. Contouring has become the number one request from my clients. Here’s something that may surprise you: you actually may already have the product in your makeup bag to help create this contouring trend – it’s called bronzer, ladies!

The advantage of contouring is that it gives the illusion that you have a more defined facial structure that accentuates your cheekbones. While it may photograph beautifully, the downside is that contouring can easily be mistaken for bad makeup. Here are a few simple tricks to help you create those great cheekbones while giving the impression that you know exactly what you are doing!

Choose The Right Color

Choosing the right color bronzer is just as important as choosing the right foundation. The key for a natural, contoured look is to look for a bronzer that is no more than two shades darker than your natural skin tone. This will help prevent you from looking orange or muddy. I typically do not choose bronzers with a shimmer, since you are trying to keep your face as natural-looking as possible.

Blend: It’s All In The Wrist

When you apply bronzer, make sure to apply it where the sun naturally touches your face and remember to include your neck. You don’t want your face and neck to be two different shades…not a good look! I suggest doing this by sweeping a little of your bronzer downward from your jawline to your neck to make the transition seamless. If you are wearing your hair up, don’t forget to get the ears and back of the neck.

Have The Right Tools

I can’t stress this enough. Good makeup brushes and applicators are worth the investment. If you’re going to use a liquid bronzer for contouring, a makeup blending sponge works best. If you’re going to use a powder bronzer, an angled-brush or a flat-brush is best for giving your cheekbones that coveted depth. If you really want that contrast, think about applying a powdered bronzer over a liquid bronzer; make sure you properly use the blending sponge when using this technique.

Makeup can be very intimidating for a lot of women. Remember, it’s not permanent; you can always wash it off. You don’t need a professional makeup artist to give you a flawless look. It just takes quality makeup, good tools and some practice. You would be surprised how quick and easy this can be, even for you mothers who are on the go!

Happy Contouring!

Your Beauty Chick-Deanna

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