When social media first took footing it was very easy to judge, especially coming from a conservative Indian culture. I remember being a part of the beginning stages of platforms like MySpace and Friendster.
Now, in my late 30s, I respect those who had put themselves out there from the very beginning. It takes time to learn who you are and what you stand for. It also takes time to learn to let go of the judgment.
In the beginning of our blog I was nervous to put myself out there. I was nervous about the judgement, to be more specific. What were followers going to say, you’re not fashionable? You’re not pretty? You don’t have the perfect life?!
Whatever my fears were, they have been conquered.
I’ve learned that being a part of any social media platform, you are often forced to read the good, the bad, and the ugly about yourself. I’ve learned you can’t satisfy everyone. Some people will love you, and some will hate you. When you fall somewhere in a space where YOU are comfortable, it no longer matters what anyone thinks about your journey.
Whatever journey it is you choose, I hope that you find peace in knowing it’s about YOU and no one else.
Social media has given an opportunity for non-multimillion dollar backed celebrity endorsed products to be promoted on a genuine platform.
If you are reading this, you likely follow @chicksandsalsablog, and for that we are thankful for your support and love in this journey that we call, our blog
I recently watched an interview with Priyanka Chopra (side note: I’m a HUGE fan). She was talking about what she was wearing to an upcoming red carpet event. She spoke on how when you wear something that you are comfortable in you will exude confidence. Duh! It’s seems so simple, but I know I’ve been guilty of wearing something that might not fit just right and I’m pulling and tugging and it affects the way I carry myself.
Confidence comes in so many forms. In fashion, it’s truly in how you carry yourself and it starts with wearing something that fits your body type. Fashion is so fun, there is no one size fits all approach. There are a few things I look out for when shopping for what’s right for me. Let me start with my body type. I’m 5’8”, 140lbs and an on again off again gym goer. I don’t have a super models body and have what I would consider to be a curvy build. As with many women, there are certain parts of my body I am more comfortable with than others. I don’t love my legs from the knee up so I try to go for midi-length dresses, maxis, capris, jeans or midi skirts. The high waisted trend suits my frame because it gives me the tuck I need while accentuating my waist.
High Waisted Pants
Midi Dresses
Midi Dresses
High Waisted Swim
As women we can often fall prey to what we are “supposed” to look or dress like. If we let go of the expectations and just dressed and acted in the way that was authentic to ourselves we would not only carry ourselves with confidence, but would also inspire others to do the same.
Please tell me I am not the only one who feels like sometimes life gets too busy…to the point that there are evenings when my husband and I are hardly able to chat in the evenings. I have spoken with my chicks and my mom about this and it seems normal for life to cut into relationships — but honestly, no one likes to feel like they are not ‘connected’ to their spouse or significant other (SO). Having been married for 13 years with two young children, it’s easy to let one busy evening become two nights in a row and then, before you know it, a week!
Here are some important reminders, the five ‘P’s, to keep your relationship on track and healthy:
Prioritize
Identify that you miss your spouse…this is an easy way to kick yourself back into gear. The best place to start is to communicate that longing. It helps get the wheels turning for you and for your SO. I tell my husband I miss him all the time, even when he is right in front of me. It lets him know that I am thinking about him and that time with him is a priority for me.
Anil and Rina : Established in 2005
Plan
Remember, actions express priorities. So once you acknowledge that you miss each other, it is time to make a plan. We were so good about date nights in the beginning, but lately (in the last 3 years) not so much. This year, we want to find a way to get back to that place where we set aside time for each other. Making time to do things together (yes, without the kids and hustle of daily life) expresses priorities.
Play
Remember those little things you did when you had fewer responsibilities? In our case, it was watch a lot of movies, NBA basketball games, and walking around new parts of town. Those activities are fun, flirty, and lighthearted. Don’t just go out to a fancy dinner — go to sports bar and catch the game again, like old times. Play time together is just as important for adults as it is for kids. Remind each other of the easy, playful times amidst the weight of growing responsibilities with families.
Sonia and Badal Celebrating 10 Years!
Physical Contact
Do you know it only take 60 SECONDS of physical skin to skin contact to get the endorphins going? Take that playfulness further by sneaking in moments to flirt at home. These moments can be an unexpected hug or kiss in the kitchen, a slight touch of the hand as you walk by. Making sure to remember that even the slightest physical contact with your spouse can make the body have a positive biological response.
Pillow Talk
This one is great. It ties in with #2, planning. Each night, when the lights are out, it is nice to have a little recap. I tell my husband a quick story about the kids or myself. He will tell me something funny that happened at the office. We try to keep the exchange lighthearted (and phone free), to help us laugh together and end the day with a smile. Having this brief re-connectivity can help be a reset and recharge button for the relationship. I actually think about pillow talk throughout out the day and look forward to that moment of peace when it is just the two of us.
** Bonus ‘P’: Poetry**
When I first met my husband he would write me lovely snippets in emails, on cards, and on napkins (anything he could get his hands on!) from time to time, sneaking in a romantic thought here an there really drew me to him. Since that time, I have see many other relationships use this fun way to communicate with each other. Check out some of my favorite love poems written by my uncle in his book, The Start Of Something Beautiful. Maybe scoop up a copy for your honey for old times sake, or check out some of our other ideas for gifts. Here is a sample from the book:
Hopefully, you can use some of these tips. When I am on the same page as my spouse, I move through my day with confidence and positivity. When we are ‘off’, it affects me, the kids, my work, etc. Are you like that? Drop me a comment below on what you do to connect with your spouse.
I’ve always believed that confidence comes from within. You can’t fake it. When my family comes together at the end of the day, we sit over dinner and discuss the things we are most proud of from the day. It might sound self-indulgent, but we hope that in recognizing our strengths and accomplishments we can be encouraged to continue to improve. Although it’s easy to focus on the “weight we need to lose” or the “wrinkles that are creeping in,” teaching self-acceptance can be a great confidence booster. It’s amazing, as a mother of two, to watch how much we influence the level of confidence our children have. But there is something I have learned about confidence: it is multidimensional. While self-worth comes from within, our outward selves can impact how we feel about our inward selves. Even though confidence isn’t always driven by what you see on the outside, it can definitely influence it.
Just Like Mom!
I have observed my almost 7-year-old daughter watch me get ready for the day. Some days I feel like wearing yoga pants and no make up. Other days, I feel like wearing heels and a dress that make me feel good. When in both looks, I make it a point to be body positive and self-accepting as I know she’s listening to my thoughts and watching my actions. I’m certain I’m not alone when I admit there have been times that my daughter has emulated me in a way that I am not proud of. I use those moments as a stiff reminder that she’s watching and I need to be sure to send the right message about self-esteem and confidence. My daughter loves to dress up. One of the looks she loves best is when our clothing matches. It could be as simple as matching colors, style, or even patterns. She can tell when I am “feelin’ myself” and she has a way of emulating that momentum. I don’t claim to have a perfect body or a beautiful face but one thing that I love the most is when I feel confident in my own skin — and I want to teach my daughter to feel the same.
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I recently stumbled across a really fun website called Jems&A. It’s a female-owned business whose mission is to design and style children’s clothing to help kids express their creative side in what they choose to wear. The Chicks love to support women’s businesses that also promote positivity! Their clothes were appropriate for my daughter and consistent with my own personal style which made it easy to do some “mommy & me” matching. They have clothes for not only daily wear but also for a fun night on the town. Making memories with my children is what I cherish most in this short life. Taking the time to focus on my relationship with my children is one of my main priorities. It was fun to play dress-up with my daughter and incorporate laughter into our fun looks! If you like what see here in the post, consider checking out Jems&A. If you use the code ChicksAndSalsa20, you can get 20% off an order of $50 or more.
Feel good, look good, and share that same confidence with your mini! To read about how to discuss compassion with your mini, check out our post here.
